'I hadn't made friends since being there' - Short Introduce yourself

I really need to edit some things..can you help me? I don't know how to change some words like "keep trying" which a repeat twice...

Please give me your honest feedback, no matter how harsh it is... I need it :)

I was sad. Extremely sad. It was December 31, 2010. I had finally decided to tell my Dutch host parents everything: I hadn't made friends since being there and I hated my Dutch school. Tears were coming down from my eyes while my words fully expressed my unhappiness. They told me to keep trying. Conclusion: I wasn't allowed to change school. Three weeks later I was exhausted and they felt my sadness: we decided that I may switch school. So it was. Since then my year went much better.

Later on I realized that I epically failed. I didn't have the strength to try, I was frightened by the new, by the fact that I didn't know what the answer would have been if I asked a girl in my class to go shopping together.

I now strongly believe that the more you dare, the further you get. One needs the strength to push away the fright of failing because it impedes us to keep trying. However, despairs leave rooms for discoveries to be made, bring into question our ideas and securities, carrying the only real satisfaction, which comprises of failures and accomplishments.

Obstacles must come our way otherwise no achievement can be attained. Just think about science: without any challenge, any unknown path, it can't develop. This is difficulty-an unknown path that has to be discovered. Its mysterious nature fears us and usually it is more comfortable staying with the few certainties we have than searching new ones. However, this is the only way I know to be a better person in the future and to attain goals one puts oneself.

I really like your essay, but Im curious as to what the question is. Hope this helps! Check out my NYU essay.

What is the question for the Amherst essay? And I wouldnt make a whole paragraph about how sad you were or what tragic event happened to you. If i can get a better look at what the question is asking I can help you more.

In addition to the essay you're asked to write as part of the Common Application, Amherst requires a second essay of no more than 300 words. We do not offer interviews as part of the application process at Amherst. However, your essays provide you with an opportunity to speak to us. Please keep this in mind when responding to one of the following quotations.

I have chosen: Difficulty need not foreshadow despair or defeat. Rather achievement can be all the more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted.

Does my essay answer the prompt?