A. Personal Statement (required)
The Personal Statement is our best means of getting to know you and your best means of creating a context for your academic performance. When you write your personal statement, tell us about those aspects of your life that are not apparent from your academic record:
ˇ a character-defining moment
ˇ the cultural awareness you've developed
ˇ a challenge faced
ˇ a personal hardship or barrier overcome
Directions
Choose either Topic 1 or 2. (Maximum length 600 words)
1. Discuss how your family's experience or cultural history enriched you or presented you with opportunities or challenges in pursuing your educational goals.
- OR -
2. Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
Tips
ˇ Some of the best statements are written as personal stories. We welcome your imaginative interpretation.
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Growing up was never an easy task, especially with the constant struggles in my family. My father's lack of education created many obstacles, especially as I was in the process of adolescence. My father was not the greatest dad in the world, he had his faults like any other human being. My father caused many hardships in my family's life as well as mine; however, he taught one of the most important values I have instilled today; the importance of education.
As a child, I lacked a mentor in my life. I'd only see my mother at night, and my brother was rarely home. The only person in the household I could gain insight was my father, which was not the best intuition I could have received as a child.. He was unemployed for most of his life because of his work habits, which caused my family to become financially unstable. My mom continuously worked overtime, which led to me spending more time with my father. My father grew up as a very brash person partly due to the fact that he was an alcoholic. He never fully acquired the behavioral actions expected by society - his childhood's illiteracy followed him into his adulthood. Because of this, he would rarely approach me. I spent many nights locked in my room alone. I felt neglected by my family, especially my father.
Due to my father being the only one home, I became accustomed to his habits. My standards were very low and I felt no responsibility towards anything. As a result, my grades completely plummeted when I began middle school. Throughout my middle school years, I was content with academic mediocrity as I consistently obtained C's. "I'm passing, I'm doing better than my father", I thought to myself, and that's all that mattered. This course of deterioration persisted throughout elementary and middle school. Towards the end of eighth grade, it came to an abrupt stop when I woke up from my sleep. I awoke to my mother screaming and sirens outside the window, as well as my dad in handcuffs.
As the pandemonium continued, I had an epiphany. I reflected upon my father's values and realized that my life was walking on a path to failure by following my father. I had a sudden spark of recognition and rejuvenation upon my education. I realized my academic mediocrity wouldn't allow me to achieve my goals. As I finished middle school, I promised my mother something. I told her that from this day forward; I would work relentlessly to get better grades in high school, go to college, and re-stabilize her life.
As high school began, I did exactly that. I started developing diligent habits in order to fulfill my promise to my mother. Consequently, I began to prioritize my education over everything else. My work-ethic and attitude towards education had completely become reinvigorated. By the end of my freshmen year, I obtained a 3.9 GPA after a terrible 8th grade year..
Today, I'm glad to be able to say that I've completed a tremendous turnaround in my life. Growing up without a capable father was difficult, but ultimately, it has only provided me with more initiative to succeed. My mother is proud of me, but I know that I have accomplished nothing of high magnitude. I have high expectations of myself and college is just the next milestone.
Truthfully, growing up without a loving and capable father still bothers me today. I'm disappointed I wasn't able to receive advice from a father's perspective. I wasn't able to seek my father for guidance like an ordinary child, but I've become a stronger person because of it; both academically and mentally. Presently, my parents are divorced and I have no contact with my father. My dad wasn't the greatest role model in the world, but he is still my father. I've learned a lesson from him that I will forever value and cherish - for that, I'm grateful.
Your answer does a good job of directly responding to the question. I think you do a great job of articulating your relationship with your father. It's a compelling essay that reads well. There are a few things that I would suggest you change.
As a general rule of thumb, you shouldn't talk about grades and GPA's in these essays. It works in the second paragraph because of how your grades reflected your relationship with your father, but in the third paragraph, the sentence "By the end of my freshmen year, I obtained a 3.9 GPA after a terrible 8th grade year..." is not necessary and the paragraph ends stronger without it.
Otherwise, a very good essay. Good luck with your college admissions.
