------------------------------------------------------Essay----------- -----------------------------
Suffering from Hyperactivity Activity Disorder from early childhood, I had to fight tremendously throughout my entire schooling period. I had to work twice as hard as others to keep up with courses and make good grades, but I never cared about my grades; instead I paid utmost attention to my classes, and to the essence of learning. I didn't mind when I couldn't solve a problem correctly but was worried sick when I couldn't understand the problem. I rarely memorized information, but I made sure that I understood the fundamental concepts of the material. I always followed a risky path and left a trail for others. I took several classes outside the school curriculum for no credit. For instance, I took Smart Science classes in 8th grade which paved a better fundamental understanding of physics. In my 9th and 10th grade, I joined the Synergic Academy where I took Calculus, mechanics and physical chemistry. I was the first student ever to alter the high school curriculum. In 11th and 12th grade, I took computer science in addition to core science subjects. I took business, commerce and organic chemistry classes at my school's college. I started physics, debate, humanities and environmental clubs. I budgeted my finances, purchased supplies, organized community service groups, planned events and executed them. I generated lesson plans for different age groups, planned experiments, created handouts, and interacted one-on-one with the members of my clubs'. I learned to become an effective teacher by simply motivating students to develop their hobbies. My aim was to "Do everyday things in extra-ordinary ways". I was both appreciated as well as rebuked by my teachers, but I never cared, as I am whom I am. Although, I am open to new ideas and people, but I would never change myself to appease someone else. Gradually, I found my true love: NUCLEAR SCIENCE.
As I graduated from my first high school, I faced a massive obstacle: SOCIAL CUSTOMS. Ours is a small town, students usually graduated high school, and went to college which was heavily influenced by their parents'. After experiencing the same ordeal, I thought "There has to a first time for everything". I wasn't going to let others' destroy my dream. "If I don't, who will" were my last words to my parents as I decided to walk down a new path. I eventually pursued Humanities and took an independent study program, at the NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF OPEN SCHOOLING.
I never knew that I would I apply to MIT. In Feb, 2012, I started looking for colleges that suited my personality and matched my interests. MIT received a "perfect 10!". I didn't select MIT for it's the best college in the world, but because MIT has been just a -another me. After, reading a lot of MIT'S articles, students' blogs, I discovered that MIT is a place full of life, and brimming with joy. Sure, there were geeks who are super genius in programming, Einstein's in physics, but there were also students who struggled in high school, had fun and were well rounded. .My attitude to study hard and play harder will enable me to enjoy and cherish every moment at MIT. My keen sense of humor would lighten the day of my classmates at MIT. . I want to attend MIT to challenge myself. I would love to have daily interactions with the best and the brightest students from all over the world.
MIT has all that I have ever wanted:
Nuclear science, plasma, fusion, particle physics, research labs, smart and hardworking classmates, best professors in the world, community service, freedom to do what I love, fun, social experiences.
I have bingo fuel, and ready to propel myself to the landing strip at MIT. I will learn and gain so much from the challenging MIT experience. I hope to immerse myself in MIT's innovative culture and take advantage of the UROP program.
Just a couple suggestions
Your first paragraph seems like a long list of disjointed activities which can probably be found on other parts of your application. Why not focus more on the ways your disorder hindered you in high school and how being active helped you cope with it. Your ending sentence also has no relation to anything you've written so far and nuclear science does not need to be capitalized
Ours is a small town, students usually graduated high school, and went to college which was heavily influenced by their parents
This statement does not make sense to the reader. and does not relate to social customs
.
After experiencing the same ordeal, I thought "There has to a first time for everything". I wasn't going to let others' destroy my dream. "If I don't, who will" were my last words to my parents as I decided to walk down a new path
It seems more like you're antagonizing your parents rather than disagreeing with them.
never knew that I would I apply to MIT
Why? and what changed your mind.
MIT received a "perfect 10!"
Scale not implied/stated
I hope to immerse myself in MIT's innovative culture and take advantage of the UROP program.
Mention what the program is
Overall I can see your energy and enthusiasm but your essay needs work to become MIT standard
