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'giant ball hits the wall' - Mit essay review


southwinds 1 / -  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. 100 words

My giant ball hits the wall, comes back and boom. My racquet hits it again and the count goes on to thousands. Playing in the backyard with a ball and a racquet probably seems ill fitting for a high school senior year 17 year old matured chap. But sometimes it takes things as simple as that to remind how enjoyable life is. This is my way of chilling me out. And probably one thing that I pursue with a reason as divine as pleasure.

plz review it.. and let me know if that appeals
menukagrg 7 / 98  
Dec 23, 2011   #2
Giant ball? Sounds pretty awkward. Are you playing squash? Other than the fact that i didn't know what you were playing (maybe it's me, i am not much into sports), the intro is really nice. If you have space for more words than go ahead and write some more but it is pretty good.

Good luck
Riddi 7 / 16  
Dec 23, 2011   #3
i liked the overall feel of the para, it appeals to my senses and i am able to imagine a guy playing in the backyard. Only thing that I'd like to add is do put a line to explain the 'why', how does it help you remember that life is enjoyable.

All the best with the application! :)


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