Gem cannot be polished nor man perfected

My topic is The gem cannot be polished without friction nor man perfected without trials and I have to write between 300-400 words.

The process is long and arduous and when the gem is finally dug out, all that can be seen is something raw and unfinished. With it's sharp edges, the gem does not seem like something that can be of value. There are still many more processes that it must undergo before it is approved and in order to attain perfection, it must be polished and cut and shaved until it becomes that little shiny object that catches every woman's eye.

Man is the same. In order to become the perfect object adored by many and to be the model human he must undergo certain trials and tribulations. It may hurt initially but thinking about it's end product is most satisfying. To build character he has to have experienced situations to make him a better, bigger and wiser person.

It is said that the most kind and loving people are those who were hurt the most. If we assume that this is true then it must mean that in order to become the most kind, loving and generous people you would have to experience some harsh realities. Emotions that run through you when you are experiencing tough times or even good times will always remain with you no matter what, so you will always remember what it was like for you to be in a particular situation when you see someone in that same situation. This is what will make you respond in a kindly manner.

Difficulties makes you a much stronger, wiser person which in turn would definitely turn you in an almost perfect human being. So it is true that in order to become perfect and to be that small shining person with exemplary character, you must go through many different trials.

You only have 293 words so you need to add 7 more words in order to meet the minimum word count. While you gave us the topic of your paper, we don't know what the purpose of the paper is so it is kind of difficult to review your paper for content but I will try to offer you some opinions or corrections that will hopefully, help you to further improve this paper.

One problem that I noticed with your essay is that you start off your introduction immediately with the polishing process. There is no statement of the subject, prompt, or basis of the paper. So the reader comes to the essay definitely confused from the very start. The way you have the essay set up right now makes it sound like you are starting the paper in the middle. I suggest that you create a more effective introduction for your paper. Easing the readers into the actual purpose of the paper, before you start off the polishing process.

Learn to create and use transition sentences and paragraphs so that your essay does not abruptly change topic and direction. It is important that you prepare the reader for a change in purpose for the next paragraph so that they will know to expect a redirection of the essay in the next paragraph. Right now, the essay is filled with abrupt changes in topic that really makes the reader wonder what it is he is really reading about.

If you apply the changes that I am suggesting to your essay, you are sure to go over the 300 word limit and maybe, just maybe come in just under the 400 maximum word count.

Thank you. I am grateful for your feedback.