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First Day at Maybeck High School: Personal Statement for College.


KJ92 1 / -  
Feb 11, 2010   #1
First Day at Maybeck High School

Dreadfully walking down the narrow halls, walls covered with abstract and colorful murals, students play-fighting with imaginary weapons; countless thoughts were rushing through my mind. Why am I here? Why is this school so weird? This was my first day at Maybeck High School. The morning of my first day, I woke up a little early to put together my attire. I had trouble deciding what to wear because I wanted to be very well dressed. Finally after much deliberation, I chose an outfit and was out the door. I was very satisfied with my choice of clothing and was sure that the day would be great. However, my excitement quickly diminished when I set foot in the school.

At Hercules High School, fashion was extremely cherished. Students came to school well dressed, trying to out dress everyone else; school was basically a fashion show. But Maybeck students were different and I noticed that right away. From trench coats in the spring, to pants that were too short, they weren't fashionable at all. I was so accustomed to my outfits being evaluated and appreciated by my peers that I always put in a decent amount of time selecting and buying clothes.

As I hurried to my first class, I was astounded by the size of the classroom; there were only fourteen students in the room. This was extremely intimidating due to my lack of experience with small class sizes. At Hercules, the average classroom size was about thirty-five students, so there wasn't a lot of student participation and individual attention. However I knew that at Maybeck, participation would be mandatory and student attention would be high.

Although I hated Maybeck at first, I've grown to appreciate and respect its merit. Its small community allows for a stronger personal relationship with the student body and staff. It allows me to socially interact with my fellow peers, but also gives me a lot of room for personal growth and to discover my interests in business and art. As opposed to Hercules, which has a student body of about 2,000, all the students at Maybeck have a relationship with each other. We are able to do activities together as an entire school such as go on camping trips, have barbeques, and attend plays.

Hercules was more of a mirror of the real world. With its high diversity and population, there was much more activities offered. But on the other hand, I have grown more from attending Maybeck. Prior to Maybeck, I was fixated with labels and different social groups; Jocks, Emotional kids, popular kids, and nerds. I would categorize people into these groups according to their actions, the way they dressed, and who their friends were. But coming to Maybeck completely changed this. I realized that these categories are merely shallow names that are used to degrade each other and make a superficial social class.

In conclusion, I have grown a lot from attending Hercules and Maybeck. I hope my college shares attributes from both schools; the school spirit, academically challenging, great social life, and a supportive community. I want to be able to continue to grow academically and individually by learning both in and outside of the classroom, meeting new people and building strong relationships. Although students at Maybeck do not have a large interest in fashion, I've managed to keep my sense of style and continue to dress nice.
bud444 3 / 4  
Feb 11, 2010   #2
hey kj92,

dont take me wrong, but i think u spend a lot of time comparing between your schools than really portraying yourself.

"In conclusion, I have grown a lot from attending Hercules and Maybeck. "

why dont u illustrate your growth...may be relate some incidents and its effect on you

personal statement is the best way to show yourself apart from test scores and gpa, so make the best use of it :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Feb 12, 2010   #3
Why is this school so weird?

hahaha! I like this sentence.

It was my first day at Maybeck High School. That morning, I woke up ...

school was basically a fashion show

You have an excellent way with words!

well-dressed---- use a hyphen

Don't capitalize some and not others:
Prior to my time at Maybeck, I had been fixated on labels and various social groups; jocks, emotional kids, popular kids, and nerds. I would categorize people into these groups according to their actions, the way they dressed, and who their friends were.

:-)


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