...and explain how and why this person is import to you.
When I search my mind for who has made an impact on my life, my father steps out first. I am really surprised at the truth, for my love for my father is so complex.
To be honest, my father is not an ideal dad because he can be defined as a workaholic without doubt. Since I had a memory he has been operating like a machine for days and nights. As a famous teacher and the boss of an training institute, his schedule is filled up with lectures to give and decisions to made on management. It was he who left me weeping alone behind a locked door when I was 5 years old, who never showed up in parents meetings, and who never took me to fly a kite or play basketball. It is forever regret that I missed so much experience for children and I therefore see him as a untypical father although I am reluctant to affix the label of incompetence to him. In adolescent years I could not help yelling at him and rarely followed his words on anything. When I got matured, I still find it tough to communicate with him, for neither of us could find enough words and topics to say.
While I believe I won't forgive my dad in some parts, I deeply understand him and even feel sympathetic of him. He was delayed for 7 years into high school because of the Cultural Revolution, but his diligence and perseverance supported him past 3 times of college entrance exam, brought him a diploma of a key university, a job in a big city and his enterprise. I know his ambition propels him to work while his lack of activities in early years left him nothing to do if he rests at home. His single-parent background and his childhood with his grandma hold him back from taking the father's role in the best way and showing his love to his innocent son. But I do know he loves me so much.
After I failed the college entrance exam, he comforted me to take it easy, for a text is only a text, and encouraged me that to be confident and optimistic I will succeed next time. In that summer, he got up early in spare mornings, take a stroll with me in the park, telling me his story of fighting against fate. During the Spring Festival when he had his leg broken and recovered at home, we read and write in the same room where we chatted for a long time. When he stood at the window, watching me lighting fireworks outside, smiling, I said to myself it was such a wonderful moment, the first time we were so close to each other for almost 10 years.
Love is to care, to understand, and to inherit. Father's love is deep and silent, and always there it is. He instructs me unyieldingness, loyalty, perseverance, and love of a man, to whom the best inheritance in terms of a father is not to let my children miss what I missed.
any advices will be welcomed!
A very sincere essay. Good job. Grammatically it is a bit rough, though. One useful piece of advice -- keep your tenses consistent. So, "When I matured , I still found it tough to communicate with him, for neither of us could find enough words and topics." Notice that the revised version puts all of the verbs in the past tense, whereas before you used a mixture of past and present.
just the ending... if i may suggest a variation.
Love is to care, to understand and to inherit. Father's love is deep and silent, yet it is always there. He teaches me unyieldingness, loyalty, perserverance, and love of a man. But had I been faced with the same choice, i would choose to spend more time with my children and not to let them miss what I had missed.
Just a slight variation, but i always liked to end with some reference to myself.
Nice essay, it is very sincere. You are quite sensitive.
It is forever regret that I missed so much experience for children and I therefore see him as a (an) untypical father although I am reluctant to affix the label of incompetence to him. In adolescent years I could not help yelling at him and rarely followed his words on anything.
But (And) I do know he loves me so much
(I prefer to use "and" than "but")
n that summer, he got up early in spare mornings, take (took) a stroll with me in the park, telling (told) me his story of fighting against fate. During the Spring Festival when he had his leg broken and recovered at home, we read and write (wrote)in the same room where we chatted for a long time. When he stood at the window, watching (he watched) me lighting fireworks outside, smiling (then/and smiled), I said to myself it was such a wonderful moment, the first time we were so close to each other for almost 10 years.
please give me more detail advice on grammar. I feel all verbs in past tense a bit weird...I wonder how to deal with the part.
and below is my revision:
When I search my mind for who has made an impact on my life, my father steps out first. I am really surprised at the truth, for my love for my father is so complex.
REMOVED
thanks!
:)))
