This essay is not bad but i feel that it needs improvement.
Throughout a child's life their parents guide them into the right direction while being there every step of the way.
This is true to every child and therefore needs to be presented properly.
Parents guide their children throughout their lives. They will make sure that their child is on the right path and would be there for him every step of the way.At a young age I did not have a mother figure in my life, she unexpectedly walked out leaving my military dad with two young girls and it was up to him to take on the roles of a mother and father.
...This is an important part of your essay as it shows the huge responsibility your father had been left with. I think it would sound better like this.
My mother walked out on my father when i was just a little girl, leaving him to take care of me and my sister all alone whilst he served in the military.The part where you say unlike my mother is inappropriate because it is hard to understand the connection between that and the part that follows.
I like the way you have shown how much you and your dad were close. :)