hi! im trying to get accepted into the fashion institute of technology for fall 2010 and i hope that someone can proofread this for me, and tell me your opinions thanks.
and the topic is What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to?
Back in high school when all of my friends went to the nice beach's in the South, I was the one who took the long flights over to Europe. After I finished my second year in French, I decided to take a trip with my mother to Paris, France. Little did I know, when she and I went to the Galerie Lafayette to visit the Yves Saint Laurent store, I was tempted to speak to them in French but their English was proficient. I remember we were coming out of the Louvre, and off to the most famous street in Paris, Champs-Elysses, we went. Just seeing the most high end fashion brands you can name on one street was almost breath taking, along with having the most fascinating scenery to go along with it, but it is Paris what else could I expect?
Since then ,and actually seeing the world and the fashion scene in a different country, it has inspired me to be in the fashion industry.
Fashion has always been an important icon in my family. For as long as I can remember, getting up every morning just to go to my grandmother's house was a dream come true. Why you ask? Because to me, she is the Tammy Apostol of my hometown. I remember when I was five years old I dressed up in her high heels, long string of pearls, a " little black dress " , and an overly large hat, just to be like my grandmother. Since then, fashion has basically been my life. You may say there is no possible way, but with having the greatest passion for fashion merchandising as I do, there is.
Also while I was attending high school, I was always the one everyone went to for fashion advice as to what they should wear the next day. Even for school dances, we always went to a gown shop in Pennsylvania and I was their fashion stylist for the day. Having people look up to me and ask me what looks best on them always touched my heart , just because I made a difference in their life.
' Beneath the makeup and behind the smile, I am just a girl who wishes for the world." - Marilyn Monroe. A quote from one of the world's most remarkable woman inspired me as a child to look at the world as if it was art.
To me, fashion is to my passion as art would be to Giuseppe Pannini. There is never something too plain or too extravagant to show one's true ideas and expressions. In my mind, that is what I see every time I go to New York City, or to be exact, Bryant Place. Walking into the park is like walking into a new world, with seeing this years latest trends, to the most unique ideas someone could ever see. With that, it has inspired me to put forth my ideas on one's body.
Why I think I should be accepted into FIT is that I know I am able to succeed at what I put my mind to. Actually going to school in New York City and having Manhattan as my campus would help out a lot with being in the industry, and a whole new learning experience. There are so many other fashion schools out there, but none of which are right for me. I love the thrill of the fashion world, and pushing myself to be the best. I know that it all doesn't come easy, and that I would need to start networks as soon as possible, but that is one thing I do want to strive for. Even though I have do not have tons of experience or any accomplishments in the fashion world, being in the fashion merchandising program is something that I always wanted to do. This coming January I will be attending Shepherd University for a background in journalism so that I can have somewhat of a liberal art background. The reason of that is because later on in life I want to be familiar with journalism and fashion merchandising so that I could later on in life start in the newspaper/magazine business.
In my family, actually having a career in the fashion merchandising field would never be an option. My mom is a school bus driver, and my dad owns his own car business, and with that, I would be the first in my family to go to college. If I am accepted into FIT, it would be a honor to be a student there.
Ever since For as long as I can remember, getting up every morning...
I remember when I was five years old at the time and I dressed up...
...put on Earth to do. Don't capitalize earth.
...but with having the greatest passion for fashion merchandising as I do , there is.
When I got to the end of the essay, my thought was that you are not as serious about your studies, as you are about being fashionable! You don't want to give that impression.
Maybe you should leave out the part about only staying at the last school for one night. Also, you should not say you'll settle for never having a secure job by attending FIT. It sounds as if you don't really believe there's a future in it. Write a thing or two about specific things about FIT that will help you develop your career goals in the fashion industry.
