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I have faced many obstacles to overcome - Personal Statement


answers: 1
Oct 26, 2008, 09:53pm   #
Below is my personal statement for admission to UCF. Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks!





The personal statement is a very important part of your application. It assists the university in knowing you as an individual, independent of test scores and other objective data. We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than 500 words or a total of 7000 characters for both statements (refer to character remaining counter below the essay). The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.
1. If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?
3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
4. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that would allow you to contribute to the UCF community?




Personal Statement:

I have faced many obstacles to overcome in my life's path to get where I am today. I was born with physical challenges, and after numerous major surgeries, I have been able to overcome those temporary setbacks. My family has instilled in me since I was a child that you must do more than the average person to succeed in whatever you pursue in life. My father, being a community leader, football coach, and business owner, taught me from the beginning that winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is everything. His philosophy taught me that as long as I always try my level best, at anything I pursue, I can achieve any personal goal I set for myself.

Recently, in the year 2007, my family lost the balance of my grandparents due to tragic circumstances. I realized, at that point in my life, how important family fabric is to a young man's growth and development. Looking back, I've learned many things that only a grandfather and a grandmother can teach. My family is a proud, hardworking family with educators, business owners, civic and community leaders; I have learned by their examples.

I have learned a great deal about the diversity of cultures and how others may perceive the world differently than myself. The family stewardship has prepared me to face challenges head on, and to separate the things I can manage, with others that I cannot. Setbacks in one's life better prepare you for the greater challenges that will lie ahead.
At this point in my life, I have responsibilities to my parents to fulfill a work schedule, car and auto insurance payments, and civic duties. These responsibilities have taught me a great deal about work ethic, and have served as a threshold to college entrance. Leadership and responsibility have always been important factors in my life. Toward the end of my football career, I received the Fairfax County Hall of Fame academic and athletic achievement award out of a pool of five thousand student athletes. I then went on to become elected to participate in the metro-regional All-Star game, and received defensive "Most Valuable Player" award.

My goal is to excel in college, find a forum that most suits my interests, and establish a professional career in the engineering field. I wish to enter the University of Central Florida as it is my choice of schools to pursue my life's goals.

Good afternoon.

Here are my suggestions:

"I have faced many obstacles to overcome in my life's path to get where I am today. I was born with physical challenges and after numerous major surgeries I have been able to overcome those temporary setbacks. My family has instilled in me since I was a child that I must do more than the average person to succeed in whatever I pursue in life. My father, being a community leader, football coach, and business owner, taught me from the beginning that winning isn't everything, but wanting to win is everything. His philosophy taught me that as long as I always try my level best, at anything I pursue, I can achieve any personal goal I set for myself.

Recently, in the year 2007, my family lost the balance of my grandparents due to tragic circumstances. I realized, at that point in my life, how important family fabric is to a young man's growth and development. Looking back, I've learned many things that only a grandfather and a grandmother can teach. My family is a proud, hardworking family with educators, business owners, civic and community leaders; I have learned by their examples.

I have learned a great deal about the diversity of cultures and how others may perceive the world differently than myself. The family stewardship has prepared me to face challenges head on, and to separate the things I can manage, with others that I cannot. Setbacks in one's life better prepare one for the greater challenges that will lie ahead.
At this point in my life, I have responsibilities to my parents to fulfill a work schedule, car and auto insurance payments, and civic duties. These responsibilities have taught me a great deal about work ethic, and have served as a threshold to college entrance. Leadership and responsibility have always been important factors in my life. Toward the end of my football career, I received the Fairfax County Hall of Fame academic and athletic achievement award out of a pool of five thousand student athletes. I then went on to become elected to participate in the metro-regional All-Star game, and received defensive "Most Valuable Player" award.

My goal is to excel in college, find a forum that most suits my interests, and establish a professional career in the engineering field. I wish to enter the University of Central Florida as it is my choice of schools to pursue my life's goals."

A very nice, well organized essay. Keep up the good work.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com



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