To be an exception; UMichigan - Community

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Growing up, living in the 2nd oldest publically subsidized housing project in the United States and oldest in Seattle, I admit that my family and I are poor. We are among the 1200 residents living in Yesler Terrance, an aging public housing community, renown for gang activities and drug crimes. I've seen gangsters broken into cars, heard of people getting jumped because of their jackets, crack addicts smoking and even drug dealers slanging cocaine outside my doors. Kids my age join gangs and disregard their futures. Almost all the kids growing up here are likely to stay and be involved in a life of crimes, except a few.

I am an exception. Living with my parents, who have high expectations for me and taught me to have high expectations for myself, has enabled me to learn the habit of excellence that is deeply rooted in my way of life. From them, I learned how to set a trail, directing me to my dreams and goals and to avoid anything that would stop me from continuing my journey. Having the image of this trail engraved in my mind, I was uninfluenced by the negativity of my surroundings.

I follow the footsteps of people who have lived here and was able to push themselves to success, people like former governor of Washington State, Gary Locke. I apply to the University of Michigan to be an exception and not just one of the statistics.

.. "renowned" is generally used with a positive note(The quality of being widely honored and acclaimed) and therefore it is not an appropriate word to use here. Also I feel you give too much details which are loosely connected and therefore you need to improve its presentation.

This is my suggestion;
Growing up in the 2nd oldest publiclly subidized housing project in the US in Seattle with 1200 residents , I come from a community which is far from the meaning of "well to do" or even "decent". The name it has earned is not a positive one, but for notorious activities such as gang activities and drug related crimes.


With my own eyes I've seen gangsters breaking into cars, insane drug addicts and even drug dealers slanging cocaine outside my doors. Kids of my age often have their futures destroyed by joining gangs and getting involved with drugs and crimes. You have an interesting story :)