Hi, I'm new here! I just happened to find this amazing site after looking up sites on Google after getting stuck on some prompts for college applications. Anyway, I decided to give this a shot so here's my essay for Cornell :D.
Essay Question: College of Arts and Sciences: (max # of words: 500. I have 463)
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
I was in my own world, hypnotized by the enticing words in front of me when an impatient, irritated sigh interrupted my thoughts. Foolishly, I chose to ignore it, hoping that I would be left alone. I should have known better. After all, from whom did I inherit my persistence from? It certainly did not come from my easygoing, laid-back father.
"Stop reading and eat," my mother scolded, pushing my bowl of steaming seaweed soup, a traditional Korean dish, in front of me and firmly removing the book from my grasp. Before I could open my mouth to complain, her stern eyes bore into me. "I know you're going to say that you can eat and read at the same time." Her strict composure cracked as her lips twitched into a quick smile that turned into a chuckle. "But trust me, I've seen you try and all you do is read. You love books too much."
I did not reply because it was the truth. My love for books started when I was too young to remember exactly when I first held up a book and became enraptured. As I grew older, my passion for literature increased and my thoughts grew more complex. My reactions changed from "Why is Opal Koboi so annoying? Can't she just disappear?" to "Why does J.D. Salinger's use of stream of consciousness make me feel as if I know Holden?" I found myself fascinated not only with the worlds within the pages of a novel or lines of a poem, but with the styles and techniques of the authors as well.
As a result, selecting English as my anticipated major was natural, seeing as I hope to explore literature in depth and grow as a reader and writer. I believe that I can accomplish this at Cornell University where I will be provided the opportunities I need to further my knowledge of literature. The variety of stimulating courses that Cornell's English department offers such as the required First-Year Writing Seminars, Culture and Politics of the 1960s, and Introduction to African American Literature among others will allow me to delve into my interest in English while exploring other interests I have such as law, culture, and ethnic studies.
Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences is appealing in that it is known for giving students an excellent liberal arts education and the choice and flexibility they need to develop their knowledge in subjects they are interested in. Ezra Cornell once stated that he "would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." I strongly believe that by I will be able to do so through the College of Arts and Sciences and the numerous courses, student organizations, and other opportunities that only Cornell University can provide.
The entire essay as a whole is fantastic, but I don't like the last paragraph. I think it'd be better merged with the second-to-last paragraph. Otherwise, it just kind of... well, hangs.
Oh, thank you so much! I'm actually relieved that you pointed out the last paragraph because I really dislike my last paragraph and it irked me to no end because even though I don't like it, I didn't know what I wanted to do to make it better so I just left it alone.
Again, thank you so much for reading and commenting (:!
The first paragraph is confusing, but I figured out the way to fix it!:
I was in my own world, hypnotized by the enticing words on the page in front of me, when my mother's impatient irritated sigh interrupted my thoughts.
What do you think?! Do you like it that way? I feel proud of myself...
:-)
...pushing my bowl of steaming seaweed soup toward me. , a traditional Korean dish, in front of me and firmly removing the book from my grasp. Before I...you do is read. You love books too much." I think you should get rid of ALL that. It is to much going on and on about the fact that you love to read. Get to the point of the essay. Make your bold, brilliant thesis statement before you get too far into the essay.
