Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


"an education in a foreign country" - What might you contribute the College?


Cobra_D1993 1 / -  
Mar 10, 2010   #1
For four years, I have always dreamed of getting an education in a foreign country. I want to cope with challenges that would help me much for my life. And fortunately, the UWC Committee gave me an opportunity.

I am very interested in attending a United World College. In the College, there will be many people come from different countries all around the world. Correspondingly, I can expand my knowledge about other cultures and learn a lot from people. I can also experience a new learning environment. I might face many difficulties such as language difference, non-similar lifestyle,... But I am ready for all. I believe that with my abilities, I can overcome every challenges. Moreover I will train myself to be more self-confident, independent and mature.

Studying in a United World College, I think I could contribute a lot to the College by all my competence. I can accommodate community with knowledge about my country and it's beauty. I would be a overseas student, like many other students in the College, therefore I like helping people familiarize with life and study in there. It's also a good chance for me to improve my communication with people around me and establish a good relationship between us. Besides, I always promise myself that I will work hard to get excellent results in study and activities to share experience with other students.

I am not a genius or a perfect student. Thus, I probably have mistake. I am always open to suggestions and hope get helps form people, especially the College. I expect to get a good education that I can learn and promote abilities. I also want to accept volunteer work in the College to express my interest in helping community. I sincerely hope the UWC Committee facilitate my application.
djanat 19 / 29  
Mar 10, 2010   #2
your essay is very short , with few errors
...every challenge"s" .... without "s".
.... have mistake..../ choose between "have A mistake" or " have mistakes"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 11, 2010   #3
This sentence is not very clear:
I want to cope with challenges that would help me much for my life.
The word "cope" is not very good here.

How about:
I want to experience challenges and successes that will prepare me for my work as a ________ me much for my life .

No need to capitalize "but":
I might face many difficulties, such as language barriers, lifestyle differences, and social challenges... but I am ready for all.

:-)
lmduc163 - / 1  
Mar 22, 2010   #4
i don't think that it's a really good essay. u just say who u're and promise that u will do sth. I hope that u can write it more sincerely :D

p/s : are u an amser applying this year ? just guess :p i hope to discuss about writing. my ym is lmduc163
zendra 1 / 2  
Mar 22, 2010   #5
I think you should focus more on how you can contribute rather than what you want to do.


Home / Undergraduate / "an education in a foreign country" - What might you contribute the College?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳