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Why are you drawn to biology, science, society.


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Hey guys! Can you please check out my answer to "Why are you drawn to the academic fields cited in question 6?" It's also for Brown. The due date is fast approaching and I really need all of your help! :) The italicized part bellow seems awkward to me; but the info it contains is the important part of the answer. Do you have any idea of how I can reword it?? Again, THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP! :)

One day, I hope to give all the people of my country the chance to a healthy lifestyle something many of the Filipinos are deprived of today. In order to see all this come true, I intend to become a doctor someday and join the Philippine's Department of Health. In line with this vision, I intend to take either Human Biology or Science and Society if I get into Brown. I believe that BIOA especially will give me all the preparation I need for med school through its rigorous science program. However, I know that knowledge in the humanities is also crucial if I want to become a good doctor in the fullest sense. BIOA and SCSO, unlike other regular intensive science pre-med degrees, will teach me to understand how cold hard scientific data and human and societal behavior are interrelated. Such an understanding will equip me with all that I need to become the doctor I aspire to be not just an indifferent stranger in a white lab coat but rather a humanitarian, a philosopher

Nov 6, 2010, 10:13pm   #2
One day, I hope to give all the people of my country the chance to have a healthy lifestyle something many of the Filipinos are deprived of today.

In order to see all this come true, I intend to become a doctor someday and join the Philippine's Department of Health.

I believe that BIOA especially, will give me all the preparation I need for medical school through its rigorous science program.

BIOA and SCSO, unlike other regular intensive science pre-med degrees, will teach me to understand how cold hard scientific data and human and societal behavior are interrelated.---This is great writing!


Such an understanding will equip me with all that I need to become the doctor I aspire to be not just an indifferent stranger in a white lab coat, but rather a humanitarian, a philosopher.



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