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'Divorce rate is nearing 50%' - someone who has made an impact on your life


m4rx 1 / -  
Nov 24, 2009   #1
Hey can someone edit my essay and give me some feedback?

Thanks in advance.

The American economy has the strongest infrastructure in the world, the highest GDP, and is the world super power. Even a country with so much power and resources cannot prevent the plague that is wreaking havoc on its population. This is what David Blankenhorn, the founder and president of the Institute for American Values calls "[America's] most urgent social problem". This plague has rose 250 percent between 1960 and 1980; and now has leveled off at the highest rate in the industrialized world. The plague in the is the single parent family.

Statistically speaking, one half of all youths that are incarcerated come from single parent families; two thirds of all suicides are children from single parent homes. For the female children in single parent families, 75% of them will end up pregnant. According to the statistics combined from the FBI, Childrens Defense Fund, and Children in Need, the family I will be talking about should have a multitude of problems. A mother, two boys, and a daughter; the daughter should be pregnant; one of the boys should have committed suicide, and the other should be a drug addict. The entire family should be living near or below the poverty line.

Now the main problem with the divorce rate nearing 50% is that there is no such thing as being faithful to your spouse, and up holding your marriage vows. Marriage now becomes a joke, and divorce has become the new fad. The amount of children that are scared for life by divorce and being raised by a single parent influences mainstream society more than people realize. When a couple gets divorced, they are hurting the world more than they are hurting themselves. The more kids that we have that are addicted to drugs, become teen parents, and live at poverty level, the more that the prisons will over crowd, and crime rates will rise. According to Llad Phillips in a 1996 study, children raised in fatherless homes are two times more likely to become adolescent delinquents or teen mothers.

In the statistics released by a 1996 study over welfare reform, out of the three kids, two of them would become rapists, and two would become murderers. All three children would likely fail in school, and require psychiatric treatment sometime in their life's. The major problem is when socioeconomic class doesn't control the crime rate, but the proportion of single parents to two parent families does.

I have a major issue with parents that cannot keep their nuclear family intact for the welfare of the children. Weather or not both parents hate each other; something should be worked out to where the children see the absent parent at least once a week. Now in the special cases, as is the case of our family, if the father has mental problems, and refuses to seek psychiatric help, then other outside forces are pulled into the ring such as the Judicial system. In these cases, there should be a substitute for the absent ill parent.

One of the interesting things about this family is that it doesn't live up to any of the statistics released by the multitude of studies. According to the statistics, the family should be in poverty, the daughter should be pregnant, and the two boys should be either dead or in jail. Instead, the daughter is living with the Longhorns, the younger son is an A student, and the family lives a healthy middle class life. Statistically, I should be counting the days until I am release, but instead I am a bright student applying to college.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 26, 2009   #2
The first sentence says the American economy is a superpower, but that is not quite right. The second sentence says:
so much... resources

...and that is not quite right either. It should be:
Even a country with so much power and so ma ny resources cannot...

has risen

Check the last sentence of that first paragraph.

Okay, you have some great supporting facts; I just think the intro should be clearer. The plague is not the single-parent family; it is the consequence of problems associated with it. Some people might even take offense to the notion that their single-parent families are a plague. You should just word that thesis sentence to refer to dysfunction associated with broken families rather than the families themselves.


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