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"Do what you love"; "what do I love to do though?" -- my family


jayj 2 / 6  
Oct 25, 2014   #1
We often hear the phrase "the good life." In fact, the University of Florida's common course required of all undergraduate students is titled "What is the Good Life?". The concept of "the good life" can be interpreted in many different ways depending upon the experiences, values and aspirations of each individual.

In a concise narrative, describe your notion of "the good life." How will your undergraduate experience at the University of Florida prepare you to live "the good life"?

I really need help with the organization and what I should remove, please help!

<Start>
"Do what you love."

I cannot even count the number of times I have heard this line. My next question was " what do I love to do though?" Of course they could not answer this for me, but I wanted them to just tell me what I should do with my life and give me the instructions to do it. I knew that wasn't going to happen, but I couldn't help but to want that. I didn't know what I loved to do, but I did know what I loved -- my family.

[...]
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 25, 2014   #2
Jay, it would seem that you did not provide the proper answer for this essay prompt. If you had indicated anywhere at the beginning that your idea of a "Good Life" is one that involves having a happy family life then yes, your essay would have fit the bill. Right now though, that reference is missing so the whole essay sounds more like you trying to figure out what you want out of life and the importance of the presence of your family in your life rather than actually having a definition of a good life.

My advice would be to rethink the way you approach this essay. I suggest that you reflect upon the life that you are living to day and your plans for living your life in the future. Who do you see involved in that life? What would make it a complete and happy life for you? If you had all of those things present in your life today or in the future, would you say that you are living a good life? If you answer yes to these questions then you have your definition of the good life :-) Now for the hard part.

After discovering what your definition of the good life is based upon your opinion, you now need to look at the mission, goals, and objectives of the university. Study the community and the academic life that it offers. Then look at which parts of those communities will help you further enhance your definition of a good life. Discuss those two in relation to one another. This will then be the answer to the second part of the prompt about how the University of Florida can help you achieve that definition or enhance the definition of the good life for you.
OP jayj 2 / 6  
Oct 27, 2014   #3
Thank you so much! This really helps me with the direction and getting it started.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 28, 2014   #4
"Why are you so quiet?" Being a quiet person, I never really stepped out of my comfort zone I always kept to myself.

- Since you are not making an reference to a person asking this question, you can skip it. It is not important to the essay and does not help it alone. Simply describing your personality works well with this sort of essay.

When my sister left, I had to make my own friends and start my own conversations...

- You lost me here. Where is the connection to the good life? Relate this experience to your definition of the good life and you will have answered the prompt completely. Your first few paragraphs were on the right track. This is a slight derailment that I know we can fix :-)

My experience being a Gator..

- This is an irrelevant statement. You needed to continue to explain instead how your life experiences have helped you realize what the true meaning of the "good life" is. Only after doing that, could you try to add how you think your chosen university can help you achieve a better version or definition of a "good life".
OP jayj 2 / 6  
Oct 29, 2014   #5
My notion of the good life is doing what you love, experiencing new things, and keeping close to God. Going through high school I had a hard time with these things, but soon figured that these were the most important in living a happy, fulfilling life.

Being a quiet person, I never really stepped out of my comfort zone. I always kept to myself. I never really talked much to anyone. My high school years were flying by and I didn't even notice it. My big sister, who is the complete opposite of me, went to the same school as me. She was my voice. When she went off to college I had no choice but to do things on my own though. This would prove to be a tough task: however, I handled it with ease.

When my sister left, I had to make my own friends and start my own conversations. I was shy at first, but then I realized how much better high school was being social. As I began to 'come out of my shell', I became more involved in things and became more school spirited. I began joining clubs and participating in spirit week. It might not seem so big, yet this was a huge step for me. I experienced new things and discovered the things I loved to do. I was finally starting to experience the good life.

Along this journey, I had some of the best experiences with getting involved. I made friendships that could last a lifetime and figured out what I wanted to do with my life through those experiences. I allowed myself to be vulnerable, and nothing but good things came from it. Through all of this, I knew it would not have been possible without God. I understand clearly just how important it is to try new things, and to do the things you love. If you don't, you risk letting your life fly right past you.

Going through my last year of high school has really shown me what the good life is. Along my journey of becoming a new person, I made memories I would never forget. These are the things that really make for the good life. I tried new things, discovered what I loved and did them, and most importantly kept God at the forefront of those activities. I learned to value these things and not take them for granted, for I am truly living the good life.

Being a Gator will help me elaborate on my experiences of living the good life. The University would guide me and teach me the critical skills needed to do what I love in the future. Along this life changing journey, I will be experiencing new things with new people and building a family. Being a part of the gator community and Christian organizations will keep me close to God as I work to help and serve others. This will fulfill and add to my notion of the good life.

Hopefully this is better! I changed what you said I should.
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Oct 29, 2014   #6
Jay, this is the best revision you have made for this essay. I can't find anything else to advise you upon regarding its content and grammar. It seems to me that the paper is as polished and ready as it can be. You can submit this anytime you want to. That is, if you feel the same way I do about the content of the paper. Remember, what is important here is that you feel comfortable with the final outcome of the paper. If you are not comfortable with it or you want to play around with the content some more, then feel free to do so. I will be here to lend you an assist :-) The decision about whether this paper is ready for submission rests with you. Don't take my word for it :-) Congratulations on a job well done.
OP jayj 2 / 6  
Oct 29, 2014   #7
Thank you so much for the help, I really appreciate it!


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