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DePauw has helped me progress, but now I want to move even further. Transfer main essay to NYU!


chan94 1 / -  
Mar 28, 2015   #1
Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. (250-650 words)

As I walked around the career fair hosted by the Kelly School of Business, I watched people engaging in conversation. I desperately wanted to join them, but did not know how. This was a large career fair where hundreds of companies come to recruit from the finest of students. Having just completed a winter term business course at The Indiana University Kelly School of Business, I, along with twenty-five other DePauw students, got a chance to attend this major event. I was quite excited. This was indeed the first formal business fair I have attended. I felt pleased to encounter many great companies for an actuarial science major. Large firms such as Allstate and Towers Watson were each in attendance.

However, with my little career fair experience, I did not know what were considered acceptable steps for engaging in a professional conversation with recruiters. I was surprised that other DePauw students felt the same way. Most of them found this event intimidating and "crazy," too. Unfortunately, a disadvantage of attending a small school like DePauw is the lack of exposure to significant job fairs. Even the director of the DePauw career center has mentioned that DePauw couldn't aggregate such a large number of companies.

In light of my goal to become fully financially independent, I desperately need exposure to more internship and job opportunities. Career fairs like that at The Kelly School will not only help me to reach out to many companies but will also enhance my abilities to master professional conversation with employers. Hence, a large university can give me worthwhile employment opportunities to realize my dream that are beyond the opportunities I have here at DePauw.

Also, I believe in never ceasing to challenge myself. After arriving at DePauw, math seemed to be less challenging than it did during high school. It is because that DePauw doesn't offer math honors program. In most of the courses I have taken at DePauw, once I understand the general concepts, the formulas, and after I am familiar with the general patterns of certain problems, I can easily solve them without thinking further. By contrast, having undertaken rigorous science honor courses at my high school, I received many chances to conquer difficult mathematic problems.

Solving these problems required significant creative thinking. Take a simple example: Given an ellipse with several combined triangles inside and limited information about the lengths of lines drawn, I needed to calculate a specific length of a line. Remembering the formulas was not a big deal. The problem was that the formulas were irrelevant to the problem at hand. Hence, creative thinking was key. I had to draw several useful lines to make the formulas work. Occasionally, these mysterious problems would cause me to imagine that I was designing travel routes in a major city. Formulas were the popular places. My job was to bridge the gap between the places and make the routes functional and efficient. It was quite challenging, but conquering the difficulties made my effort worthwhile.

I deeply appreciate that DePauw has opened a new gate of actuarial science for me. Thus, I am looking forward to thriving in this newfound area by taking more complicated mathematical courses, statistics course and any additional relevant courses. Therefore, I want to transfer to a school with more rigorous and diverse mathematics courses that will both inspire and challenge me.

I love DePauw, my friends, and my professors and will greatly miss each of these things. However, I also keep my interests and career goals in mind. Thus, after a long, serious consideration, I have finally decided to transfer. DePauw has helped me progress, but now I want to move even further.
harveyross - / 3 3  
Mar 28, 2015   #2
I love the way you are trying to tell a story. However, the points you raised are not strong enough, in my opinion, to justify your transfer and your interest in actuarial science. People know creative thinking is important, but they want to hear how that connects to you and your interests.Besides, mentioning company names is not a good idea since admission officers are looking for something more genuine than getting a decent job. Try to be more concise, and focus on one main story to demonstrate your case. Watch out for grammars too. Good luck!


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