Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?
Maya in Nepali means love. And even though I have uttered this two-syllabled word- without having truly realized its meaning- for innumerable times since I first learned to speak, who would have speculated that a rustic academy perched on top of one of many hills of Nepal above a sea of cloud would have actually instilled its worth in my mind and made me truly feel it-maya- in my bones, in my soul.
Delightful, tranquil, pleasant- using these adjectives to describe how my stay in Maya Universe Academy had been like is unjust. Maya, with its bucolic setting, is a place where private education is free (the first of its kind in Nepal) and where love for one another thrives, and is contagious. And I was immediately aware of this omnipresent force from the moment a small boy wrapped his tiny hand around my fingers after I'd just gotten off the bus with my friends. And instantly, I felt at ease and at home.
During my brief stay, I learnt how to collect fodder for the cattle from the local forest, and became aware of the hardships associated with it. I learnt how to make briquettes at the expense of being squirted with cow dung, but was glad that I was actually applying the Three R's. I learnt how collecting firewood could be a tediously long task, but felt gratified when the smell of vegetable curry wafted the air. But most importantly, I learnt what the power of love could achieve when channeled positively.
One afternoon, I was blessed to have witnessed an act so selfless, and which certainly restored my faith in humanity. Amidst the chaotic hustle-bustle of the lunch break was this small kid with no tiffin, and no appetite for play. Manjil (the founder of the academy), however, was quick to notice this forlorn kid and, without any second thoughts, gave him his plate of steaming noodles. I instantly realized it was not just free education that Manjil provides these children but he also instills a sense of compassion and love by implementing it rather than telling about it. And this compassion with which Manjil has based this academy upon is definitely what sets Maya apart from other organizations that I have volunteered in. This epiphany erupted a gratifying contentment within myself.
And this love present even when the children were rivaling with one another for the ball, this love present in the eyes of the ambidextrous mothers making necklaces as side business, this love driving everyone to, subconsciously, create this serene milieu made the stay worth the bruise, the cut or the risk of encountering an unknown wild animal in forest. Inevitably, I was one of the members of Maya family- exuding love and soaking that of others.
As I write this essay, I am enveloped by the dust, noise, and chaos that Kathmandu city is, and naturally I am nostalgic of the mischief of the kids in Monkey class, the feel of earth on that hill, and the crisp air of Maya. As a favourite color is subjective, so is the definition of contentment and I am just glad to have found mine.
Sonam, the essay itself is already quite good. It is nice that you are able to share many different learning experiences from your brief stay at the academy. However, I feel like you need to point out more than just what you have learned from the academy, there needs to be a point in the story where your contentment becomes very evident. From that contentment, you can explain what you experience there and how it has helped you learn more about yourself. That gives the reason as to why that place has become very meaningful to you. For example, you could talk about the sense of family or camaraderie among the students living on campus that you have never experienced before. Then explain why and how that is specially meaningful to you. The essay just needs a little bit of adjusting. The content is alright. It just needs to address the prompt requirements more specifically.
It seems to me that you have deviated from the prompt response at this point. You need to concentrate on a place where you constantly go and where you continuously feel content. Reading the essay, you managed to confuse me because you first spoke of the Maya Universe Academy but towards the end make reference to the city of Kathmandu in general with reference to your sense of contentment. Which is which? Choose either the academy or the city itself based upon wherever you constantly feel content. The prompt requires you to describe a place where you feel content, so that has to be a place that you frequent. It is not a brief stay at the academy. If you feel the same way in the city and you frequent the city, than revise the essay to make reference to the city instead. That is how you can make the essay work better for you.
