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deciding on colleges to attend this year - University Of Pennsylvania Supplement Essay


RobaE 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2013   #1
The Admissions Committee would like to learn why you are a good fit for your undergraduate school choice (College of Arts and Sciences, School of Nursing, The Wharton School, or Penn Engineering). Please tell us about specific academic, service, and/or research opportunities at the University of Pennsylvania that resonate with your background, interests, and goals. (400-650 words)

"So what are the two kinds of people?" my second grade teacher asked. I innocently responded with what seemed to me the most obvious answer at the time: the good people and the bad people. Black and white. That was the way me and many other kids were taught to think. As I grew, however, I was able to see the shades of grey between everything, including people. I began to notice the generic set of labels that existed, as if there was no effort put forth to understand the individual person beyond what is seen. The man leaning against the run down building all day smoking a cigarette would always be a lowlife who chose the wrong path. The teenage girl with dyed hair and dark lipstick who spends a majority of her time in Starbucks would always be a pretentious and superficial youth. Instead, that man is suffering from depression and has given up on everything there is to live for. That teenage girl has been bullied and ignored her whole life. These narrow perspectives are, unfortunately, what today's black and white society has created.

Discovering the innermost part of each person, the portion that harnesses the personality that makes them who they are, became my passion. I became obsessed with understanding the thoughts behind people's actions, understand what lead them to their present day situations, questions that I found answers for in the social sciences. Bothered by how they were perceived as less important than other branches of science, I wanted the chance to demonstrate just how essential subjects such as psychology, sociology, or criminology were to the world, that to understand the human mind and behaviors is to understand what holds the foundations of society in place. Years ago, second grade me typically dreamed of a profession that can change the world, but now I realize that change is impossible without a true understanding of the human race.

Criminology, studying the reasons behind criminal behavior, is the part of the social sciences that stuck with me the most. I realized that criminals were seen in the dimmest of lights, that no matter how hard they might try to showcase their actual personalities and intentions for change, most people would instantly give up on them. In my perspective, there is always a reason behind every criminal act that usually never appears on the police reports or court files. Just because they made some wrong choices in life does not mean that they don't need attention and understanding of their mistakes. Throwing criminals into prison and labeling them after their time was over is not and will never be the effective way for change.

As I decide on colleges to attend in the upcoming fall semester, I look for the institutions that would enable me to fullfill my goals as a criminology student. For this reason, the University of Pennsylvania is the most suitable choice. The UPenn College of Arts and Sciences, being part of one of oldest and best research universities in the country, and with a huge focus on the social sciences, struck me as the perfect place to start the journey. I started to learn more about the department of criminology there, thrilled by the way there was an emphasis on the combination of research and teaching especially the research program under the Jerry Lee Center of criminology which I would love to eventually contribute to. More importantly though was the interdisciplinary tradition through which I'll be able to cross different academic interests, courses, and researches from other areas of the social sciences to create my own desired path that isn't restricted by prior practices and definitions. To me, that is not only an advantage, but a huge dream that I can and will only fulfill at the University Of Pennsylvania.
jonathachou711 - / 7 2  
Jan 1, 2014   #2
Very good essay -- My only suggestion is that in the last paragraph, don't talk about your process in "searching for a college". I think it's more effective if you get straight to the point why Upenn is a good match for you. Saying stuff like "i looked for the institution that would enable my goals as a criminology student" is just redundant. The admissions officers already know from your last two paragraphs that you are clearly passionate about criminology -- theres no need to reiterate it.

Also, don't say stuff like "its the oldest and best research university". The admissions officers are obviously proud of their institute but hundreds of stuents will say that exact statement and they'll be tired of hearing that.

Talk more specifically about what you will do in the Jerry Lee Center of criminology

Good work!


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