I have to write an essay about someone who has influenced my life greatly. We have to mail it to them so we have to include my address and the person I'm sending it to, which happens to be the same address.
5555 XXXXX Road
XXXXXX, MN 55803------edited by the moderator
February 1, 2011
Julie Belden
5520 Driftwood Road
Duluth, MN 55803
Dear Mom,
Thank you for everything you've done for me. You've always shown unconditional love towards me even when I don't want it, or don't deserve it. Having you as a mother is the greatest gift and biggest advantage anyone could have given me. You've sacrificed lots of things for me, and I'm writing this letter to show you how truly grateful I am. You taught me right from wrong, good from bad, and decent from indecent. It's because of the values and confidence that you've instilled in me that makes me who I am today. Thank you for shaping me into a person I'm proud to be and letting me believe that I can be whoever I want to be. I've learned how to be a responsible, productive person from you, and I thank you with all of my heart.
One of the best things about you is how you make me do things I don't usually want to do. You make me do my homework and do chores, and even though I don't show it very often, I'm truly grateful. You pressure me by saying, "Do your homework, or no Xbox this weekend.", or "Eat your food, or you can sit there all night." At the time I didn't like it, but as I reflect back on it now, I realize that it was all for my own good. You have high expectations of me, and now I have high expectations of myself. Sometimes high school can be overwhelming with all of the tests and homework, but you always try to lighten the load. I think it's great how you pressure me to do good in school, but you're always so nice about it.
Another great attribute about you is how you're such a good listener. You always (most of the time) listen to my ideas completely without interrupting. You don't scoff at my ideas, but try to add to them nicely. When I graduate high school I want to go to MIT or another great engineering school. You don't tell me that I'm not smart enough, or that we don't have enough money. You tell me to get good grades and scholarships. I can't even express how thankful I am for that.
Thank you for everything, for all of the big and small things. They all have made a difference in my life, no matter how small. Thanks for being so understanding, so strict and for listening to all of my ideas, no matter how stupid. If there is an award for the best mother in the world, you would have earned it.
Sincerely,
Samuel Belden (your son)
WOW!!! LOved your letter. I can tell you truly ment it because you gave specifications on your reason of why you thought something about your mom. I didn't see no errors to be corrected I mean grammaer seems good, well ofcoars of what i know and you gave very good detailing to support your reasons or your thoughts. Though I don't think its a very good idea to put up an address on here cause this is a public site, so be careful. But best wishes with your letter for your mom;)
weekend.", or "Eat your food
Just use the comma, no period. And you need another comma---> ...weekend," or, "Eat your food...
Excellent paragraph topic sentences, excellent conclusion... this is really good. If I had to criticize it, I would say it is maybe too simplistic. You deal with simple stuff like motivating the child, being a good listener for the child, making the child do homework... I think you can tackle some of the deeper processes... some of the things that are harder to write about. You are a great writer, able to handle abstract concepts.
Also, I am taking that address off the Internet! :-) Just in case of weirdos...
