We believe it is critical that your candidacy reflect the interests, experiences and pursuits that are most important to you. To this end, is there anything else you would like us to know? A paragraph to a page in length
I'm attracted to I wish to become an entrepreneur. I've the needed initiative, and already founded my first company a year ago - an importing business which I closed due to change in regulations. I'm applying to Dartmouth because I aspire to experience an education that will broaden my horizons. I believe Dartmouth's "D" plan will enable me to develop myself to become a successful well-rounded because of its flexibility.
I have a vast interest in business and economics. My passion about these subjects began in the financial crisis of 2008, I was overwhelmed by the global effect of a seemingly domestic issue like subprime mortgages on the world's financial system so I started to learn about economics. As I read more books such as Too Big to Fail and The Intelligent Investor I realize I'd fallen in love with the fast occurring, almost chaotic dynamic of the international business world. Accordingly I've spent the last several years investing my own money and beating my benchmark which was the S&P500. I wish to pursue a career in the business world; I spend my free time looking for business opportunities because I love it. It is my passion. However, I know I need to expand my academic base in order to have a better grasp of concepts.
I'm attracted to Dartmouth's interdisciplinary academic approach. I worked on algorithmic solutions for reconnaissance satellites during my army service, and I'm passionate about taking Computer Science classes in addition to majoring in Economics. This combination of courses will give me the strong academic base I'm looking for in order to be a successful entrepreneur, which could combine technological and business understanding. For example, taking Economics 25 will enable me to assess the performance of a company, and Computer Science course such as COSC 31 will give me the required knowledge to understand the technological base of a company.
In addition, I love the fact that the university is located in Hanover, I'm looking forward to experiencing a true American college town. People in Israel are very open with each other, and Hanover will enable me to be in a place with similar outgoing and interesting people. As avid traveler who spent a year travelling around the world on his own, travelling is in my blood, and I can't wait for my first steps on the Appalachian Trail!
I also love that Dartmouth has students from all over the world because it produces a mixture of cultures. While traveling, I met people from almost every place on the globe and learned many things about life and about myself from them. Moreover, in addition to perfecting my English, I learned Spanish, Polish, and a bit of many other languages. I wish to continue to expose myself to different cultures and I would love to share my experiences with my peers.
Dartmouth combination of interdisciplinary spirit, excellent education, and unique location is what I look for in the place I wish to develop further as a person. Additionally, I believe I have the needed attributes and that I can contribute to its cultural diversity and be an integral part of it.
Looking forward for your opinions!
You need to revise the essay to remove all references to your desire to study at Dartmouth and the reasons why you feel that you will do well at the school. That is not a part of the essay requirements. Instead, focus the essay solely on your interest in economics. Choose only one of the stories that you are trying to simultaneously tell in the essay in order to give a better answer. Focusing on the most important piece of information about you that you want them to know about will accurately answer the essay prompt. There is no need to constantly connect yourself to the university. That is not the main concern of this essay. The admissions officer only wants to get to know about you and some information that was not presented in the other common app essays which you feel needs to be brought to light in an effort to make your application look even better. Take advantage of the opportunity. Don't waste the essay by trying to suck up and offer information that is not required in the essay. You are the main focus of the essay so don't deviate from that. You can either discuss how you developed an interest in economics or how economics affected your business due to the changes in regulations, causing it to shut down. Those are just some ideas for topics that you can discuss in this essay :-)
