I wrote another sample. Good, bad, better?
The bitter taste of freshly made leomade burst into my mouth as my dad and I enjoyed a nice summer day in the backyard. It was a typical summer day with my sister chasing the dog around the grass as my parents and I were engaged in a conversation with our neighbors, who were over for the afternoon. My dad has sensitive skin, so after a few hours he had to move inside. I followed along not wanting to end our conversation. His face was extremely red and I worried he had been in the sun too long.
After we had all eaten, everyone congregated to the family room to watch a movie. About thirty minutes into The Incredibles, I got the overwhelming sensation that something was not right. I looked around and did not notice anything unusual until I glanced at my dad; he was having trouble breathing. His skin was an unimaginable shade of white. I screamed out of shock as the adults surrounded him and my mom called 911. It felt as if my world had suddenly frozen: the moment was dragging on, as I feared that I would never laugh with him again.
Our neighbor rode with my dad in the abulance, while my mother rushed the rest if us to the hospital. Sitting in the waiting room was agonizing; I was shaking uncontrollably. Two hours after we had arrived, we were allowed to see him. I started crying on the way, not knowng what to expect. As I walked into the room, I saw his smiling face and normal skin tone. My tears changed from that of fear to that of happiness.
The doctor informed my mom that a side affect of my dad's cholesteral medication was fainting if he spent too much time in the sun and was not drinking enough liquids. I knew that his sensitivity to the sun had also played a significant role. He had pushed himself to far and should have gone inside sooner.
This expereice has taught me that I need to appreciate my parents more. My bonds with both of them are bonds that I will never be able to replace. This scary encounter made me realize that I need to enjoy ery precious moment that we get to spend together because I never know when they can be taken from me. I have learned that I need to take more risks and be more open to the sundry opportunities that I will come across throughtout my life.