First of all, I have to say you write really well. Here are my suggestions:--
Your second paragraph doesn't add much to what you have written in the introduction. You've already given a vivid description of the incident, and the second paragraph just sounds repetitive.
until reality slapped me in the face.
How? Perhaps, you should explain it a bit.
I don't know if anyone would be offended by part where I mention western people.
I don't know about that, but I do think that particular reference is irrelevant to the essay.
I don't know why, but I'm finding it difficult to relate the anecdote with your ambitions. It maybe because you have not specified your goals. For all your eloquence, "...strong urge to be the best at whatever I did...," doesn't paint a good picture. It is as if you don't have any idea why you are applying for college.
I suggest you mention what career you want to take up in the future, and make a connection to the incident you mentioned.