Any suggestions would be appreciated.
The prompt is as followed: Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.
Starting at the age of eight, the degree of my stutter has fluctuated. "It runs in the family," my father said as we addressed my speech impediment. He called it our "stuttering gene" and explained how a lot of children from his side of the family stuttered as children. At that time, my difficulty to hold a full conversation clouded any scientific concern I possessed for the condition. As time progressed, however, my speech impediment had ceased to a less than mild condition. As it became increasingly easier to orally read text and converse with my peers, my interests in genetics and development took root.
The idea of an unknown gene causing a disruption in my normal speech flow began to entice my imagination and intellectual interests. These interests further intensified as I began to investigate the works of scientists studying the condition. To my surprise, however, scientists were still baffled by the genetic cause of the speech impediment; while some argued the root of the problem originated at Chromosome 12, others believed it to be Chromosome 18. Eventually, this research into genetics developed into a severe desire to study and solve the mysteries behind genetics and neurogenic development.
As I shifted through the piles of college brochures on my table, the genetics and development program at Cornell University caught my attention. With a program of study that taught through discussion and research rather than the old-fashioned textbook approach, Cornell became my ideal learning environment. The chance to learn under Cornell's national and international leaders in the field of genetics and development became my dream to strive towards. Even the list of required classes for the program, ranging from Speciation to Developmental Neurobiology, further excited my intellectual interests in genetics. After a few more days of research, I became certain that Cornell University was my school of choice. At the School of Arts and Sciences, I would be able to undertake my own independent study and research in development and behavioral genetics, rather than studying the research of others.
At Cornell University, I would take full advantage of the opportunities offered in disciples of genetics and development. As a future biologist, the student organizations that foster independent research would also provide me with essential experience needed in the fields of science. Furthermore, the high-quality education in the School of Arts and Sciences would allow me to expand my interests and further explore related fields in the biological sciences. The genetics and development program at the School of Arts and Sciences in Cornell University is a perfect match for my interests.
At that time, my difficulty to hold a full conversation clouded any scientific concern I possessed for the condition. ...holding a conversation...
As time progressed, however, my speech impediment had ceased to a less than mild condition. Try using another word for "condition." It seems redundant.
Eventually, this research into genetics developed into a severe desire to study and solve the mysteries behind genetics and neurogenic development. ...an intense desire...
With a program of study that taught through discussion and research rather than the old-fashioned textbook approach, Cornell became my ideal learning environment. Instead of saying it became your ideal learning environment, maybe you can say "Cornell became my first choice due to its ideal learning environment."
At Cornell University, I would take full advantage of the opportunities offered in disciples of genetics and development. disciplines.
Excellent essay!
Nicely written, I like how you weave your own "handicap" (if I should call that) to to fact that you like genetics. Makes it very personal.
Even the list of required classes for the program, ranging from Speciation to Developmental Neurobiology, further excited my intellectual interests in genetics - when you use even, further is unnecessary.
With a program of study that taught through discussion and research rather than the old-fashioned textbook approach, - I know you assumed that it's true, but maybe put some examples? just by visiting their website you could add more details. They want to see your research on them particularly, even if you already put the classes required.
