Please review my cornell essays...
here's the prompt:
College of Engineering:
Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by - and linked to - specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish.
Doing is better than thinking
"Ideas come alive when you believe in them". I was sitting on my desk studying for next day's computer science practical exam, and suddenly one of my friends told me about the arrival of BITS-PILANI students to the school. They brought with them a robot named 'AcYut'. I left everything and ran as fast as I could to the seminar hall. Till the time I reached, my breath had gone out and my heart was pumping at 100 gallons an hour. But, thank god I was the first to expose myself to my first engineering experience. That first exposure to 'real' engineering left me like 'wow'. Since, then my passion for engineering grew tremendously.
Engineering acted like a drug for me. Each passing day I grew more addicted to it. In my high school I grew more inclined to learning programs, artificial intelligence, and about their applications in practical life. Like applying concepts of machine learning to create programs which read human emotions just by reading one's face. Much more like programs analyze things on their own. Studying programming and creating programs became my passion. I tried creating my own learning programs, but I failed to do so because of lack of 'professional' programming skills. Then here comes the role of Cornell engineering. With its renowned faculty and varied course offerings, I would aptly cater to my exploratory nature and will be able to build a strong base in computer science.
Sometimes I think why not we have programs which do not require any human interaction. For example, in my high school every day I see teachers signing up in a registrar's booklet to mark their presence in school. Why we do not have programs which just reads teachers faces and puts up their attendances. Then we will save a lot of time and indeed, a lot of paper. Programs are potentially very powerful, as I said when we will save paper, and then we will definitely save trees. Computer programs can make human being's life much easier and handy.
Cornell has been a pioneering institute for research and inventions, and it would directly cater to my interests in doing research in artificial intelligence and learning algorithms, while studying for my major. Moreover, Cornell is amongst one of the top few institutes which provide opportunities to do research with faculty members. Its intensive curriculum teaches in-depth about the course, this is what I want. Apart from academics Cornell provides both internship and externship counseling to Cornellians. Cornell is not just a beautiful and captivating environment, but an institute with a rich history. Both its faculty and students have expanded horizons, and have created groundbreaking inventions. Studying in an ambience which is full of talents and passions will build me into a person with high goals, and Cornell Center of Advanced Computing would add up more excitement to 4 years of tenure. It is not that cornell is amongst the world's top engineering universities, but it is just that I have found the right institute, a perfect match for my kind of species.
Please... do review it.. :)
What do you mean by "reading teachers face puts up their attendances"?
What does "artificial intelligence" mean? Does that mean you don't have basic, genuine intelligence?
That makes no sense. I read across this in your Harvard supplement and I still do not understand,
"reading teachers face puts up their attendances"
Simply hints at the use of facial recognition.
"artificial intelligence"
LOL, no. It's a branch of computer science with the purpose of developing intelligence in machines.
I think your essay makes perfect sense. A suggestion would be to revise the wording on your anecdote at the beginning. It just sounds a tad awkward. The material is great though.
