Prompt #1
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement. *
Over the past 60 years, antibiotics have been used to treat infectious diseases. However, the overuse and misuse of antibiotics have led to an increase of resistant antibiotic bacterium. This creates an urgent need for new antibiotics to slow antibiotic resistance. This medical crisis has drawn me to the integrated study of Chemical Biology to participate in tackling this problem.
It was the summer of 2009 and San Francisco had its rare sunny days. While many of my peers wanted to rest, I wanted to do research. During the spring semester, I learned that my biology professor offered a few students to carry out their own scientific research. The opportunity as an undergraduate to do research seemed too difficult to ignore. I developed a procedure for my research group to the investigation of the antibacterial properties of the Brazilian fruit, Euterope oleracea (açai). I was excited, I felt as if I was finally being able to take preliminary action against antibiotic resistance. As I gave my procedure to my professor, she read it and was impressed for the appropriate tests I would perform. She then suggested that I should submit this research to a seven week study to the Society for Advancement of Chicanos and Native Americans in Science (SACNAS) where they could publish my research. I assembled a group of students with determination to publish my research.
Lab work didn't go as smoothly as planned. One of our sources claimed that the açai pulp could inhibit Staphylococcus aureus; yet, my data on açai fruit failed to inhibit S. aureus or any other test bacterium. Because of our data contradicting our source, my lab group began to quit the research. As dismayed as I was, I came across the idea to test the açai plant leaves to test for inhibition. To my surprise, our data on the leaf was able to inhibit S. aerus and Pseudomonas aeruginosa. This contradicting data gave us the results we needed to disprove our source and continue to collect more data.
As the seven weeks drew to an end, my group began documenting my research. I soon discovered that my group was discretely avoiding writing the abstract. This matter did not concern me because the abstract write-up was the responsibility I desired. To be able to have this experience will prepare me for the many other abstracts I will plan to write. My hard efforts in writing the abstract were rewarded; the SACNAS committee published my abstract and granted my group a travel scholarship to present my research. However, given the circumstances of my group, only I was to accept the scholarship and present my research.
The reality of my contribution taking place was such a blessing. The confidence and experience I gained has given me a foundation for my career in science. However, antibiotic resistance will continue despite my accomplishments. This crisis is one of many that humans will suffer and just as I refused to give up on my research, I am determined to contribute to the best of my abilities.
I was wondering If my essay answers the question and hopefully doesn't become a plot story. Any suggestions would be helpful.
I was wondering If I should change the last sentence in my introduction to "This medical crisis has drawn me to the integrated study of Chemical Biology to provide a contribution."
Thank you for your time.
- and what you have gained from your involvement. *
I feel your essay, while adequately answering the other parts of the prompt, doesn't answer this part. You mostly describe your experiment, but you don't really explain what you have gained or learned.
This has created an urgent need
(to keep tense consistent)
a few students the chance to carry out their own scientific research
The opportunity to do research as an undergraduate to do research seemed too difficult to ignore
I felt as if I were finally being able to take preliminary action against antibiotic resistance
and was impressed by the appropriate tests
I think the last sentence of the intro is fine as is.
