This is an answer to the prompt: "People find many ways to express their inner world. Some write novels; others paint, perform, or debate; still others design elegant solutions to complex mathematical problems. How do you express your inner world, and how does the world around you respond?" I'd appreciate any criticism, thanks.
A lone gull wings its way across the radiant autumn sky. The setting sun bathes the world in flaming hues of orange and red, rays shimmering on the placid Atlantic, before softly dipping into the ocean. Waves rhythmically crash against the gently sloping shores, filling the air with a cadence that mingles with the music of the dunes as brisk saltwater winds whistle a haunting tune. I stroll across a wooden walkway onto the dusky beach as a cool breeze gently caresses my skin. This is my haven and tranquil escape. From the first time I set foot on these coasts I experienced an abiding sense of wonder at the secrets they hid. Whole summers passed as I indulged my inquisitiveness: a sculptor shaping damp sand into elaborately ornamented castles, a weekend Cousteau combing the shores and shallows for seashells and alien life.
Years later the white unknown of a blank page would evoke the same feelings of exhilaration and promise, my youthful forays into art and science serving as springboards for a literary zeal. The motley treasures of maritime debris that once filled my plastic buckets gave way to collections of ideas and experience; the terraces and moats of sandcastles became the trope and form of narrative. I began writing as a form of therapy following my grandmother's sudden death. I was leery at first, never having tried my hand at fiction, but soon found myself absorbed in the creative process. My first efforts were timid and reluctant, but slowly a new world began to appear, a world that had previously enjoyed only a shadowy existence in my mind's eye. Texture, perspective, and skeletal contours developed as inchoate imagery crystallized; richer color and detail emerged as light and shadow came into sharper relief. I had awakened to a new passion and purpose.
As a boy I unknowingly sought to understand nature not merely as a detached spectator, but rather as an actor in an unfolding, open-ended drama. I realized that it is necessary to be engaged in a constant dialogue, to ask questions before demanding answers. Now I willingly embrace this seaside mentality, for in writing it is rarely enough to passively observe, expecting the world to freely bestow its fruits to whomever come who may. Life is a continuous act of story-telling and self-creation, and one must actively seek to discover inspiration.
Over the past seventeen years I have watched this community grow and evolve as I have. No longer a quiet turtle sanctuary nestled among the barrier islands of North Carolina's Coastal Plain, today Topsail Island is a popular vacation destination attracting tourists from across the country. Million-dollar condos and stately waterfront houses now besiege a dwindling remnant of scattered beach cottages that have weathered wind and wave of Hurricane Alley. As I make my way back across the walkway, the headlights of a passing car momentarily illuminate a sign in our home's sandy yard: "For Sale by Owner." The scenery of my childhood may change and fade away, but the curiosity it cultivated will always remain.
This is excellent! I should be asking you for writing advice, rather than vise versa. One way you can strengthen this, if you would like to work with it some more, is to make a connection near the end between this interest and your intended major. Nothing is more impressive than a student who has a clear vision for the future. What kind of work would you like to do as an adult -- if you had to choose right now? Also, are there good resources at any of the schools to which you are applying, resources that would be excellent for your particular kind of fascination with biology? If so, maybe you should mention them. However, don't mess with this too much! It seems inspired; don't mess with perfection. :)
Thanks a lot for your comments (and I apologize for the title). I was worried I didn't focus enough on myself... I'm a very visual person, and I have a bad tendency to overwrite and slip into "purple prose." (Earlier versions of this essay make me cringe.)
