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'That Was Then' - my Common App essay!


rockstarelite 1 / -  
Oct 13, 2012   #1
Any advice would be great. I don't want to sound whiny but I want to say what I went through. I also want elaborate how I've progressed but that seems too had when there's a limit of 500 words.

The prompt is up to the student and I just chose to write about my past and how I managed to change it.

That Was Then

I don't make it easy for anyone to notice something's wrong. I always have this amazing smile on my face and an awkward, loud laugh that makes any room glow. There's always a random happy dance, funny face or voice imitation I do every day that makes the people around me laugh. That's how I am now but not how I was before. I've learned at an early age that everyone goes through problems in their lives, and some even worse than others but there's no problem that lasts one hundred years or a body that resists it. What I went through is something only my family knows and that's just because I was taught that whatever goes on at home stays home. My past, it's no longer important to me but, I know that I act a certain way and matured faster because of the past.

Growing up, I wouldn't say I had the best of childhoods; I was the insecure chubby girl that was made fun of in elementary. I wasn't that girl that went to the park with her dad, I didn't have anyone to sit down with me and eat at the dinner table nor had a sibling to share my thoughts with. I have memories of strangers and my mom drinking for three days and nights. I remember that every time my mom would take long in the bathroom and act weird was because she was using drugs. She used to beat me sometimes and blame everything that went wrong for her on me. My dad would always come to mind but according to my mom, back then, he didn't care about me and, living only a few blocks away from me, he never bothered to see me. I used to make any excuse to stay after school just because I hated going home. During my pre teen years I didn't have anyone to ask for advice nor did I trust anyone. When I used to look back at my past I would get a knot in my throat and retained my tears. There were times that I would lock myself in my bedroom to nag and ask God for a different family but that was then.

I finally woke up one day and determined myself to be different from everyone that affected me. I put myself to change things around me and since then I've gained a relationship and trust with both of my parents. Today I'm successfully improving my life with my family and no, it's not perfect but that's how it is even in the best of families. I've gained a lot confidence and I'm certainly not as shy as I was before. I joke around and always act like if it's the best day ever and when a problem ever pops up I don't make it obvious to anyone and just say to myself "well that's life and it's just another experience I can call my own."
OVODiana 2 / 6  
Nov 1, 2012   #2
I like how you're open about your problems and colleges love that but try and talk about your self a little more. how has it impacted you other than gaining confidence? Talk about how you're going to take the things you learned from this and use it for your future career. good luck (:


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