What is Yet to come: AP English Essay
Can you take a look at my essay and give me some suggestion as to what to add or change? Thanks in advance.
Here's the prompt:
Using song lyrics (from one song or from multiple songs-your choice) construct well-written essay (minimum of 500 words) that display what type of person that you are. You may chose to focus on a belief that you hold, talk about something important in your life, a dream that you are working toward, or anywhere else that you choose to take this topic. The key is that you must focus on YOU and it must somehow incorporate the lyrics of at least one song of your choice.
I am a teenager, a teenager with an abundance of hopes and dreams. Everyone is different from each other. We have different beliefs, attitudes, and different opinions; but the thing that greatly singles me out, is the way I see things.
Teenagers await the future with such anticipation, but not me. I fear what is yet to come is not as glorious as I contemplate it will be. Every once in a while I will stop and think, if the path that I am taking is the right direction to success. At my old school, they had various quotes printed on the school walls, throughout the building, but there is one in specific that stood out to me. It was something along the lines of: You only get one chance at life, but if you make the right decisions one chance is all you need. Thus inspiring me to analyze my every move; "'cause when your hourglass runs outta sand, you can't flip it over" (Chesney) and start again.
Why I fear the future? I fear that my hopes and dreams will not come into reality. That what I greatly anticipate on becoming, at the end, will be nothing but hopes and dreams. I've heard of plentiful of people that ended up not being what they wished to be, all because of a simple mistake. I want to make the right decisions and live life fully, because like it says in the song Don't Blink, "Life goes faster than you think." (Chesney) I wish I could go back to my childhood years, and not worry if what I do will contribute to my place in the future. I remember, not so long ago that I wanted to be at the age of a legal adult already, "complainin', sayin', I can't wait to turn eighteen... I'll make my own money and I'll make my own rules" (Adkins) Eventually, as time progressed, I found that I was getting closer to that age faster than I thought. I feel that I'm greatly unprepared, at what life is an ill be throwing at me. I completely regret wanting to grow up, "so I been tryin' to slow it down."(Chesney) I hope that the road that I'm walking in will lead to a gracious land.
My greatest concern of all is that the choices that I'm taking will affect the possibility of my hopes and dreams to become actuality. I'm not saying that I haven't done the right choices, is just that I don't know what my actions might lead to. I truly hope that most of my wishes will come true without any obstacle along the way. Many teenagers are optimistic, but definitely not me. I want my dreams to come true, but the problem is that life is not as easy as it seems.
Your opening paragraph needs revision. The first sentence seems to have nothing to do with the second sentence. Think about what you want the reader to get as the first idea of this essay, and give a sentence that expresses that idea. Do not include unrelated sentences, like this one I am a teenager, a teenager with an abundance of hopes and dreams. That has nothing to do with the point you make in that paragraph, so think of what would be a better sentence to replace it.
You used contemplate incorrectly. You mean 'expect' or 'anticipate'...
In MLA style, the parenthetical reference should come before the period:
"so I been tryin' to slow it down" (Chesney).
Name Here, thanks for the great work you did! Yamela, can you post a new draft with the mistakes corrected? Then I will look to see if you still have mistakes.
