Central American immigrants and American Dream - Columbia Supp. 2

There are three basic layers to my being. On the outermost layer I am the daughter of two Central American immigrants aspiring towards their American Dream. Beneath that, I am an athlete who contributes towards the improvement of her community. However, at my core I am nothing if not a reader. For as long as I can remember, I have always had the tendency to read whatever was in front of me. Whether the contents are as mundane and trivial like cartoons on a cereal box or as constructive as my father's Sunday issue of the La Opinion, I read because of its potential knowledge. My insatiable thirst for reading has overwhelmed my libraries in the past, but I believe that Columbia University's Library System will be the first to overwhelm me.

The thought of being only minutes away from the university's access to over nine million books is enough to make me weak in the knees. The university's reputation for also being a champion of diversity has made me realize that its access to international knowledge must also be phenomenal. These factors combined are enough to engage my attention in ways I had never thought possible. Its appeal ensures that a day spent on-campus and mingling with my fellow peers will promise a day of lucrative learning. If I were to ever be accepted into your extraordinary center of learning.

whats the prompt?

the prompt is explain what you find most appealing about Columbia and why :)

I think you should be more detailed about what is it that makes you fascinated by the library. Go straight into you being a reader. "access to international knowledge must also be phenomenal." change the must also be to "is phenomenal" I feel like you're being a little bit of a brown noser and it happens even if you dont mean to do it. Ive done that too before. Towards the end I would make it more about you.

I would change that last sentence. Ending the essay with that sounds a little like "IF you guys ACTUALLY let me in."
I don't think that's what you were actually trying to say, just how it came across.

Just my opinion, don't change it if you think it works.

the "its" here is pretty ambiguous


lucrative is sort of an odd word choice in that it often implies monetary gain


I agree to not end your strong essay with this weak statement. You don't want to qualify your statement, be confident! They'd rather read "I would do "this" at your University" than "I could do "this" if you were to ever accept me"

would valuable be a better idea?