Please give me any corrections or suggestions that you think will help improve my responses! Any feedback is welcome - no matter how bluntly honest or harsh! (:
For the second short response, we asked you to consider the world around you. Now, consider the world within. Taste in music, food, and clothing can make a statement while politics, sports, religion, and ethnicity are often defining attributes. Are you a vegetarian? A poet? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes, Mac or PC? Are you the drummer in an all-girl rock band? Do you tinker? Use the richness of your identity to frame your personal outlook. (200-250 words) 2000 characters available
They say the first six months of life are the most important in shaping your personality. For me, from Day One I've been a fighter. I am one out of hundreds that were abandoned, and my first six months were spent in an orphanage in Guangzhou, China.
Some call it being stubborn; I call it being strong-willed. Whether it's debating the pros of demand-side economics in my AP government class or arguing the ethics of what's "fair" with my parents, I've always readily fought for my beliefs (whether or not they were necessarily right). Even from the beginning, although I lacked many basic gross motor skills as an infant as a result of lying in a crib for six months, I worked hard to grow up to become a successful athlete. After participating in every sport as a kid from dance and swimming to soccer and basketball, I ended up dedicating nine years of my life to competitive gymnastics. Even after a fall landed me with a fractured neck, (this is where the "stubborn" kicks in), I refused to quit. Although I was out of practice for several months, I did physical therapy and fought hard to return to compete one last season - I wanted to end my gymnastics career on a strong, positive note, not with an injury and painful last memories.
Today, I view my adoption as no more than another simple fact about me such as that I have brown eyes and black hair. However, I believe the fight I put up to survive in that orphanage still remains within me today, although it may be manifested many different ways.
Here's the optional essay response:
1. Science, math, and society are filled with postulates, laws, and theories like the Ninth Commandment, PV=nRT, Occam's Razor, and H.R. 3541. Warm air rises. Good (English) grammar requires 'i' before 'e' except after 'c.' So pick a law, any law, and explain its significance to you.
I possess no superpowers (unfortunately), and I don't claim to be any sort of rare creation - I'm only a teenager struggling to find my niche in the world (I don't have time to be in the business of defying the laws of physics). I'm merely human, and Newton's three fundamental laws of motion can account for all my actions in my everyday life.
Newton's first law of inertia (a body in motion remains constant unless acted upon by an outside force) perfectly describes my day from beginning to end. Unless interrupted by the obnoxious blaring of my alarm at 5:55 a.m. each morning, I would never wake up and drag myself out of bed (no less than ten minutes later I might add). Without time as a force limiting the hours in a day I can be active and busy, my life would be an out-of-control whirlwind of activities, from being president of the Interact District 5150 Council and captain of the varsity gymnastics team to organizing school leadership events and working as a gymnastics coach.
Newton's second law states acceleration is directly proportional to the net force applied and inversely proportional to mass. Standing at exactly 5'1" (the average height of an eighth grader, an unfortunately small height for a high school senior), I prove everyday that it's not the size that matters, it is the effort and force you put in that makes the difference. Despite my "petite" stature, I'm the rock, the strong, supportive shoulder to cry on for my friends in need (no matter how big the issue). Although I may be vertically challenged, I work hard to live up to the high standards I hold for myself - whether it's that 5 on my AP tests or hosting a lunch distribution for the homeless in San Francisco.
Newton's third law, every action has an equal and opposite and reaction, has taught me countless life lessons, including the importance of treating others how I would like to be treated and that while many surfaces such as gymnastics mats, grass, and sand look soft - they're not. (Despite the fact that I'm a gymnast, I have an uncoordinated tendency towards clumsiness).
While Newton's rudimentary laws of motion may be universal, they are also specifically applicable to my own lifestyle, and it's how these laws apply to my life that distinguishes me as a unique individual.
After participating in every sport as a kid, from dance and swimming to soccer and basketball, I ended up dedicating nine years of my life to competitive gymnastics.
I wanted to end my gymnastics career on a strong, positive note, not with an injury and painful last memories.---This is amazing!
Today, I view my adoption as no more than another simple fact about me, such as that I have brown eyes and black hair.
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Newton's second law states that acceleration is directly proportional to the net force applied and inversely proportional to mass.
Standing at exactly 5'1" (the average height of an eighth grader, an unfortunately small height for a high school senior), I prove every day ---two words here.--- that it's not the size that matters, ...
Newton's third law, every action has an equal and opposite and reaction, has taught me countless life lessons, including the importance of treating others how I would like to be treated, and that while many surfaces...
You are also a very good writer! Your essay shows intelligence, perseverance and a great sense of humor! Good luck with school!
:)
