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Bowdoin Essay - "the calm before the brainstorm" - intellectually engaging


answers: 3
Dec 29, 2010, 05:50pm   #1
I know its bad. Feel free to completely rip apart. I'm currently writing another draft - same topic "intellectual engagement" different subject. Thanks for any and all help.


When I was in the third grade my teacher so graciously taught my peers and I the art of "brainstorming". Back then, it was a cartoon picture of a brain with lightning bolts protruding from either end with "IDEA" written in big Mr. Sketch marker at the end of each bolt. The concept of "brainstorming" is a little different to me now. It's the five minutes of pre-write time on the SAT, or the half an hour "reading time" I receive on IB tests, and lately, it has been my head hitting the kitchen table struggling with college supplements. However, the guiding principle behind the "brainstorm" has been and always be the most intellectually engaging process of learning for me after all, it is where my intellectual journey begins.

In high school, they try to extract the fun out of your education. They give "warm-ups" funny names like "activators" and they no longer ask you to put your Popsicle stick on the bulletin board under "hot lunch", "brought lunch", "sandwich". The "brainstorm" however, has stood the test of time. The margins of all of my tattered one subject notebooks have miniscule "brainshowers" all over them in the margins, above the headers, everywhere. And some pages, well some pages have "brainmonsoons", "braintornados" and "brainhurricanes".

In the few peaceful moments before the commencement of a paper or test, I'll always take a couple of minutes to mentally prepare the calm before the "brainstorm".

Dec 29, 2010, 06:07pm   #2
I really like your quote. It shows you are serious about learning but you still have a personality!!

And some pages, well some pages

Don't start with "and" - and although I could easily see someone talking this way in a speech, I dont think this particular sentence structure is good in an essay -

Hope that helped
The concept of "brainstorming" is a little different to me now.
-no need for the quotes
Jpuck:
principle behind the "brainstorm" has been and always
"has been and always will be"
Jpuck:
They give "warm-ups" funny names like "activators"
"They don't give.." They is referring to high school, correct?
Jpuck:
they no longer ask you to put your Popsicle stick on the bulletin board under "hot lunch", "brought lunch", "sandwich".
I don't see how this is fun or educational.
Jpuck:
The pages of all of my tattered one subject notebooks have miniscule "brainshowers" all over them in the margins, above the headers, everywhere.
Jpuck:
However, the guiding principle behind the "brainstorm" has been and always be the most intellectually engaging process of learning for me after all, it is where my intellectual journey begins.
what is the "guiding principle"? why do you find it "intellectually engaging"? what does this sentence mean?

It's a good enough start, but from the looks of it, you don't find this subject too interesting. Your purpose isn't clear and it doesn't really seem like a full thought. I like the first paragraph with exception of the last sentence which kind of confuses me. In the beginning it sounded like you were going to talk about how important it is to brainstorm or how much more complex it is now than it was before. However, the rest of the essay isn't as engaging.



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