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'Books, encyclopedias, internet, and watching others work' - NUS Admission


D41V30N 2 / 2  
Jan 16, 2012   #1
This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.

As your essay is limited to only 2000 characters (including punctuations and space), do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.


Back when I did not even understand the word "science", I have always marveled at what I learned later to be one of the most fundamental areas in physics: Mechanics. I was never really interested in actually playing with my enormous collection of Hot Wheels toy-cars. "How are these cars produced? Why are they shaped as they are? Why do they operate the way they do?" - I was more concerned about seeking the answers to these questions. My grandfather taught me to operate basic tools, such as screwdrivers, and with these newly-learned skills, I would open all these cars, empty their contents, scrutinize them - part by part - desperately hoping to learn their functions, and then assemble the parts back together before my parents returned home.

Quickly, my interests escalated from simple toys to actual vehicles when my father would buy our first car around 8 years ago. Gradually, I was opened to the idea of "Engineering" for the first time. Honestly, I was somewhat disappointed at first. The particular field of engineering I have always been pursuing requires one to be very efficient in both mathematics and physics; naturally, my skills at both were "good", but not "exceptional". Nevertheless, over the past five years, I have struggled to hone my talent in both the subjects in order to pursue my goals, and it is with pride I can say that I finally excelled in both the subjects in my O-Level and A-Level exams. Whereas I would consistently annoy my peers and teachers to teach me more in these subjects, by the time I sat for my O-Levels, my classmates were the ones who sought guidance from me in both of them.

Books, encyclopedias, internet, and watching others work in the field - all these furthered my obsession with the field. And soon, I learned that my fascination had soared far beyond land vehicles. My sights are now locked on aircrafts and the idea of hovercrafts. And I believe, given the opportunity to study in your institution, I will achieve my goals.

[1,983 Characters]

Please review my NUS Admission Essay and comment on grammar and relevancy. I would much appreciate if anyone would give me directions on how to improve my essay and improve my grammar. I will definitely review your essays / assignments as well if you help me.
Amanwholives 1 / 1  
Jan 16, 2012   #2
Back when I did not even understand the word "science", I have always marveled at what I learned later to be one of the most fundamental areas in physics: Mechanics. I was never really interested in actually playing with my enormous collection of Hot Wheels toy-cars. "How are these cars produced? Why are they shaped as they are? Why do they operate the way they do?" - I was more concerned about seeking the answers to these questions. My grandfather taught me to operate basic tools, such as screwdrivers, and with these newly-learned skills, I would open all these cars, empty their contents, scrutinize them - part by part - desperately hoping to learn their functions, and then assemble the parts back together before my parents returned home.

Quickly, my interests escalated from simple toys to actual vehicles when my father would buy our first car around 8 years ago. Gradually, I was opened to the idea of "Engineering" for the first time. Honestly, I was somewhat disappointed at first. The particular field of engineering I have always been pursuing requires one to be very efficient in both mathematics and physics; naturally, my skills at both were "good", but not "exceptional". Nevertheless, over the past five years, I have struggled to hone my talent in both the subjects in order to pursue my goals, and it is with pride I can say that I finally excelled in both the subjects in my O-Level and A-Level exams. Whereas I would consistently annoy my peers and teachers to teach me more in these subjects, by the time I sat for my O-Levels, my classmates were the ones who sought guidance from me in both of them.

Books, encyclopedias, internet, and watching others work in the field - all these furthered my obsession with the field. And soon, I learned that my fascination had soared far beyond land vehicles. My sights are now locked on aircrafts and the idea of hovercrafts. And I believe, given the opportunity to study in your institution, I will achieve my goals.

[1,983 Characters]

If it is BOLD, I think it should be re-worded.

~This is a very good essay. In my opinion, there are just some minor changes that need to be made.
Good luck to you!


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