Hello all,
This is my personal statement for applying UW CSE department. This would be my key factor to my admission.
Any tips or corrections would be appreciated.
My major concerns are:
1) Grammar
2) Prompt (Am I on track?)
3) Organization
Thanks in advance.
Prompt: Computer science and engineering requires creativity, teamwork, and strong academic ability. We value breadth of interest, leadership, and diversity. Tell us about your academic and personal interests, goals, and what you will bring to the CSE community.
Also,
If you have overcome any significant obstacles (medical, financial, personal, etc.), or if you had an unusual path to discovering CSE, please discuss.
If you will pursue more than one major, explain why both majors are important to you.
Do you believe in the evolution theory? Well, I do. Although my religion, Christianity, often voices contrasting ideas, many evolution researches make it undeniable that the human beings have evolved in numerous different ways. While most people imagine evolution as changes of humans' brain, lineaments, and body shapes over periods of time, I consider evolution as development in humans' lifestyle. For example, Australopithecus, the earliest human beings, evolved into Homo habilis after being knowledgeable enough to use their hands. Similarly, Homo erectus emerged from Homo habilis as a result of being able to control fire. Besides, I believe that humans are still evolving through changes of lifestyles, and my goal is to support people advance one step further in evolution with the development of technology.
In the current society, our lifestyles are continuously progressing as new technology is being developed. Although there was not a huge progression to call it an evolution, we clearly have refined our road to the new lifestyle with the improvement of technology. Since I trust that our next evolutionary step would take place in space, I want to work in the field which closely relates to the universe. Moreover, I consider computer science as the most critical technology required for space in which programs would be necessary for human survivals outside the Earth. Programs would be used as tools to protect humans from space hazards such as by maintaining oxygen level and controlling temperature. In fact, I desire to build programs which would support people in space so that they could stay as conveniently as they are on Earth.
Having always been a logical thinker, however, I was not able to decide my path just upon my interest. Even though I have long determined my goal, it was only recently that I developed my enthusiasm towards computer science. In fact, I feel lucky that I have decided to take CSE 143 during my first quarter in UW. Before the course, I have rather lost my interest in computer science due to my previous instructor's lack of passion. Yet, throughout the course, I have noticed myself enjoying writing code, especially when I should logically analyze the program backwards to fix bugs. Just as importantly, the excitement from completing a program was more than enough to fascinate me.
My path would involve numerous obstacles as there are more unknowns than knowns in space. Since I must discover these unknowns to overcome these obstacles, I need to know as many algorithms as possible, ranging from mathematical to computational. To do so, I am planning to double major in computer science and mathematics, furthermore minor in mathematical physics. Without wishing to sound boastful, I trust in my academic abilities to successfully execute this plan as I was already able to maintain desirable grades within extraordinarily challenging quarters.
Frankly, as a beginner programmer, I do not know how much I could bring specifically towards the Computer Science and Engineering community. Nevertheless, I would surely bring my goal, passion, and devotion while having a computer as a medium to express myself.
Hallo esah, I am trying to correct your writting especially your grammar.
that the human beings have evolved in numerous different ways
lineaments, and body shapes over periods of time, I consider evolution asis a process of development in humans' lifestyle.
my goal is to support people advanceadvancing one step further in evolution with the development of technology.
Although there wasis not a huge progression to call it an evolution,
in which its programs would be necessary for human survivals outside the Earth
The programs would be used as tools to protect humans from space hazards
I was not ableoften get confused to decide my path just upon my interest.
Even though I have long determined my goal, it wasis only recently that I developed my enthusiasm towards computer science.
there are more unknowns than knowns(uncountable) in space
Since I must discoverto overcomethese this unknownsto overcome these obstacles , I need to know as many algorithms as possible,
Hope it helps.
Cheers
