This is a draft of my Essay for CommonApp. It would be great if you could spot some incongruity or awkward sections/sentences, or really anything that can improve on this. Thank you so much in advance!
Band Geek of the Elite Variety
Ring.
My heart jumped out of my chest. The merciless caller ungracefully wrenched me into reality. I could no longer soak up the continuous wave of music emitting from my thoughts.
I realized how much I hate telephones. Texting, instant messaging, and Facebook do not have incessant, unforgiving sounds attached.
Ring. Ignore it, Kevin. Concentrate on the EQ. Your mom is probably downstairs.
Ring. Shall I take away some of this bass? It's a bit nauseating. I can't think!
Ring.
"WHAT?"
"Hey."
"Oh hey, John."
"Making a song again?"
I smiled. "How did you guess?"
I know how he guessed. I often create music during my free time, taking on a rather irascible mood when distracted. Many of my close friends know this. They also know that I am not the greatest at multitasking, especially when it involves song or sound. I was born with an embellished sense of music and rhythm, and over the years it has not only improved, but has clouded my other senses. Some may call it a handicap that music attracts my attention faster than honey attracts bees, but they will never understand the way I perceive the world.
I remember the school day four years ago when I truly discovered my talent. Although countless music teachers, friends, and their parents have told me that I am musically inclined ever since grade one, I've never really cared. After all, a keen musical ear cannot teach me French or how to write in cursive. However, one day in jazz band class, our teacher presented to us a jazz recording of the Count Basie Orchestra. Right after, I found myself playing the melody in that song without the need for sheet music. My teacher was as much surprised as impressed at my talent. I was too. In fact, I had always thought that any band geek could play a song by ear. That day marked the first time I realized that I was different. I would like to classify myself as an elite species of band geek.
Two years after that, I realized that even the quietest of songs will distract me to the point where I cannot focus at all on what I am doing. However, it wasn't just music. I found that my brain had such an intimate connection with sound that any noise would distract me from concentration. But then I had my musical epiphany: a gift is simultaneously a curse. One's talent shows only if one decides to use it. In some sense, I was luckier than most, since I discovered my talent at such a young age. I chose to exploit my advantage.
Looking back upon my journey, I appreciate my decision. I am not the person I used to be. Two years ago, I would never have imagined my current skill in making music. I would not even have imagined that making music could attract me more than video games. But now, it seems like a dream come true. A dream I never dared to dream because my parents' belief that music would not give me a good future. Not without reason, of course. A doctor would make a safer career choice and require less luck than trying to become famous artistically. However, I have never felt particularly talented in Medicine. I sense dissonance every time I try to picture my easily distractible self dressed in a lab coat and white gloves. No, a Doctor just won't do, although I do have the grades to become one.
Schoolwork has never been a challenge for me. Besides, I am quick at learning concepts, and concepts make up the entirety of high school curriculum. Learning the concept of algebra is no different from understanding the concept of photosynthesis. Music, however, is not as defined as academia. Musical expression is never right or wrong, but better or worse. Finding the right answer to a question is easier than improving on a design. My main motivation in life is the striving to create better and better musical content.
Time flies by as I focus on transcribing my thoughts into audio waves. My keyboard, much akin to a faithful notebook, rests beside my bed and jots down my musical dreams.
I translate as perfectly as I can sounds from my mind's ear onto the music software.
From neurons to electrons, it becomes an expression of emotion.
You will not find a bigger band geek.
Awesome imagery. I just wish I had your gift. Nothing on Spelling or Grammar. If I could an essay on Facebook, this would be one of the top ones. If you ever think of Julliard, send this essay.
Thank you, VampireAngel, I am very flattered!
I'm being astonishingly pedantic, but "faster than honey attracts bees"... honey doesn't attract bees. Flowers do, with all their nectar:P. It works as an idiom, but, well, It struck me when I read this. It may strike the person grading this, who knows?
"No, a Doctor just won't do, although I do have the grades to become one." something's bugging me about this, though I can't put it in words. Not grammatially, something about the content made me read it at leace thrice and think 'hmm, is mentioning the grades and doctoring worth it?' It seems a bit too pragmatic... a bit too rational... this is way too vague, but I hope you've got an idea of what I'd be waving my hands around to tell you if you could see me.
It's catchy, and it represets passion well. And I'd give a kingdom for your conclusion. It's great.
Good luck!
Thank you! I was actually worrying about my conclusion, but I'm glad you approve!
Two years after that, I realized that even the quietest of songs will distract me to the point where I cannot focus at all on what I am doing. However, it wasn't just music. I found that my brain had such an intimate connection with sound that any noise would distract me from concentration.
This is very interesting!!
a gift is simultaneously a curse.
Yes... as an example, if you read about autism, you will see that some people describe it as TOO MUCH of a good thing. So, people who have intense focus are able to create great things, but people whose focus is too intense are distressed by it.
No, a
Doctor b
eing a physici an just won't do, although
I do have the grades to become one.
Schoolwork has never been a challenge for me. Besides, I am quick at learning concepts, and concepts make up the entirety of high school curriculum. Learning the concept of algebra is no different from understanding the concept of photosynthesis. Good idea, but try to explain it better. School is all about working with concepts. Music, however, is not
as defined as academia of the same nature as concepts. Musical expression is never right or...
:-)
Good job Kelvin fan...i really covet your writing skills."I was luckier than most , since I discovered my talent at such a young age. I chose to exploit my advantage" I felt comparative error here.i suggest i was the lukiest of all...or what do you think?
However, kelvin can you review my essay please? Help me spot errors..i will appreciates it so much.thanks in advance.
Amazing! Although I hope u r applying to a music school and not others lol
My favorite was the ending, especially "neurons to electrons," that part
