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Applicant statement for student exchange programme to UNSW.


crazchloe 1 / 1  
Aug 30, 2011   #1
Hi everyone, I am writing a personal statement to apply student exchange to Australia (my 1st choice) and Beijing (2nd choice)
Here is the instruction:

In not more than 300 words, please explain why you wish to participate in the student exchange programme, what have made you a suitable candidate and what you expect to gain from the experience.

Thanks for everyone who helps me :]

"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." said by Henry Miller. By exploring new cultures, new knowledge and new talented people, it will enrich my ways of seeing things from different perspectives. I am very interested in new media art so I believe that advanced and innovative ideas are my assets leading to succeed. By broadening my horizons in the chosen countries that have vibrant art, historical and cultural backgrounds and via visiting galleries and museums, it will strengthen my new media art sense. Apart from my personal growth, the extension of interpersonal relationship can also help grabbing opportunities to seek for participating art exhibitions and collaborating with international artists. Being interviewed by RTHK Radio 2 and Ming Po about my artworks in the past can show my determination and passion towards art. If I can join the programme, it will greatly support me to become an outstanding artist.

My experiences of being a volunteer in Guizhou Ethnic Minorities: Preservation, Archive, Eco-Heritage Conservation Project (2009-2010) and HK Art Fair (2011) to give a guided tour in the Hong Kong Conventional and Exhibition Centre and so on can show my contribution and respect to art, culture and history. It is certain that as an exchange student, I will promote HK's culture as well as peace.

During the exchange programme, I will 1) participate in art exhibitions to expand my social circle and to exchange new media art ideas 2) I will get inspired by different research topics happening in my future in order to start my final year project. Since the dean from SCM, Jeffrey Shaw, was the pioneer of iCinema in UNSW, I would like to explore other advanced new media art projects based on this theory. 3) After coming back to HK, I will join local and international competitions to gain awards and to reassure my achievements. 4) I will explore more options of graduate schools by participating in UNSW for a master degree.

All in all, I would love to have this chance of a lifetime of being in the student exchange programme. I will be able to utilize my knowledge learnt from City University of Hong Kong to further my education at one of the schools in order to be a more mature, refined and successful individual.

I am not sure if this is a good essay to represent my goal of applying student exchange programme. Should I also mention my academic achievement? Is it convincing enough? What other elements I did not mention??
nirvash - / 1  
Aug 30, 2011   #2
There are several grammatical errors you need to fix. Try not to use "new" so much. I suggest you talk a bit more about your credentials and differentiate yourself from others. In addition, I suggest you use specifics to why you want to to UNSW. Incorporate specific names of professors, programs, buildings, etc into your essay. That will allow readers to realize that you have done your research about the school. I give the essay now a C+, B-. Good luck!
shahdad 7 / 17  
Aug 30, 2011   #3
By expanding your conclusion u may have better impact. It seems that the paragraphs are not Measured.


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