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Admittedly, I was nervous: What would they think of me?


jjj90 4 / 14 4  
Oct 31, 2014   #1
Admittedly, I was nervous: What would they think of me? Would they think I was pompous and contemptuous? What questions would they ask me: How is it there? Is life there fun? And there you have it, the apprehensive mind of a ten year old. Ok, maybe not precisely, since my thoughts didn't contain words such as pompous and contemptuous. However, the build up towards the moment, that I would eventually realize was my coming age, couldn't have been any more frightening or explained any more vividly.

My head was filled with numerous thoughts as I walked through the green gates of the Eastern Nigerian boarding school. Totally secluded, I couldn't help but think the area bore a strong resemblance to the prisons I had seen on television. Plus, to make matters worse, I was in a place with unfamiliar faces speaking in an unusual language. As I walked up the stairs of my dormitory, a singular thought began to sink in: I was on my own. Mommy wasn't going to be there to wake me up for school, and daddy wasn't going to be present to tuck me to bed. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but knowing that I wasn't going to see my siblings made it hard to keep that promise.

The first few weeks were extremely difficult to get through. I felt isolated, like I didn't belong in that particular environment. The abrupt transition from my earlier years in the suburbs of Virginia was probably the essential reason for my feelings of alienation. It felt strange leaving the setting of my second grade classroom, where I was learning two column additions, to a setting that required me to juggle 14 distinct subjects ranging from English to a language that was completely new to me, Igbo. My unhappiness continued to grow within the succeeding weeks. I knew it would be an adverse experience, but I was oblivious to the extent.

Surprisingly, in a matter of months, the anxious feelings that accompanied me during the initial weeks began to fade away. This was mainly because everyone was extremely eager to learn a lot from me; numerous students admired my international experience, and valued my distinct opinions in classroom discussions and activities. Moreover, I felt proud to be learning my parents' culture as they always expressed their desire to see me become familiar with the way of life of the Eastern Nigerians. Additionally, I felt extremely happy that I was adapting to the innovative essence of the boarding school.

Unquestionably, my stay at the boarding school has given me a greater sense of self-awareness. The formation of new friendships with my roommates and the fact that I wasn't judged for being a kid born from America showed me that establishing a sense of self is crucial in numerous endeavor. My more mature self has embraced the simple fact that being an individual is more important than conforming to particular societal norms. Moreover, my ability to adapt to the peculiar nature of the boarding is very significant in the Eastern Nigerian culture. In East Nigeria, living in a boarding school signifies the idea of self-reliance; this concept of self-reliance has become an ineffable part of my character, enabling me to subsist in distinct academic and social settings. The indiscernible respect I gained from the Eastern Nigerian culture was central to my experience, and is best demonstrated by my gained competence in the Igbo Language.

Conclusively, my enrollment in the boarding school has played a major role in my personal and cultural evolution. The qualities of independence and self-perception that I gained from this experience have become an inextricable part of my current life. Although I have lived in Virginia for 16 years of my life, it was my singular year in Eastern Nigeria that not only aided my personal growth, but has become an inseparable part of my identity.
xeber_97 2 / 7 1  
Oct 31, 2014   #2
Firstly, I recommend that in any place where you mention your story specifically as "my coming of age story" or "my transition", anything along those lines, should be taken out (excluding your concluding paragraph - which should only lead readers to the idea that you were talking about your coming of age). If you're answering a specific prompt, whoever you're submitting to will already know what you're talking about.

Also, I think the over essay could use some more order. In the beginning, you could focus completely on your story and it's emotions, and then go into how you changed from fear and apprehension to having a more positive outlook on your situation. What inspired you change? And lastly, what have you learned, and how has that lead you to adulthood? <--- answering this will give a better conclusion for your essay.

Overall, you've got the prompt (I'm assuming it's a common app one?) answered. Just some order change and condensing will enhance your response :D
OP jjj90 4 / 14 4  
Oct 31, 2014   #3
@xeber_97 Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.


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