The prompt for the Columbia University Transfer Supplement is
"Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why in 1500 characters or less":
Any feedback/proofreading would be greatly appreciated but especially loved on on sentence structure, wording, and tone
Every student feels attracted to the university of their choice by how that university, even in the slightest way, can aid them in their life goals. One of my life goals is for me to able to do something good for the world some day and, for me, Columbia University is the catalyst to realizing that life goal through its extremely focused and specialized Environmental Engineering program.
A majority of schools that have engineering programs in this country offer environmental engineering programs in some shape or form. However, while most schools offer either a Civil track or Chemical track to becoming an Environmental Engineer, Columbia offers a specialized Earth and Environmental Engineering program of it's own. Aside from the great benefits that arise from having an independent program, the EEE program also teaches the "new school thought" which combines the technical side of the of the Civil track with the theoretical side of the Chemical track, and applies them to issues facing our society today, such as resource depletion and sustainability.
When I initially decided to become an environmental engineer, I thought I would eventually be doing work that would aid in fixing some of our society's worst problems. Through my first year of college, I learned that this is not the case for a majority of people who come through most programs. However, unlike most colleges, Columbia University is a great university that can aid me in my endeavor to achieve at least this one life goal.
--Thanks in advance
One of my life goals is for me to able to do something good for the world some day ----Wait a minute! If you want to be impressive, you need to already have well-developed ideas of what that "something" is. Describe your specific goals instead of showing vagueness.
Yes, replace that vague assertion with an assertion about a specific goal associated with engineering... or several goals.
Make room for awesome sentences by looking for ways to eliminate unnecessary words:
A majority of schools that have engineering programs in this country offer environmental engineering programs in some shape or form. However, w hile most schools offer either a Civil track or Chemical track to becoming an Environmental Engineer, Columbia offers a specialized Earth and Environmental Engineering program of it's own. Aside from the great benefits that arise from having an independent program, the EEE program also al track, and applies them to geared toward issues facing our society today, such as resource depletion and sustainability.
:-)
