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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Fashion Institute of Technology Essay - Fashion Business Management

2 - First paragraph: - ...fashion and cosmetics -, ( use the right punctuation mark for the right part of the sentence)...

Undergraduateasmith16pom - 09:20am
justivy03
11:43am
Freshman prompt on how my world has formed me - UC application essay.

2 - - ...it is one that boundsbinds me into... - My community castshas ( you've used "casts" in the beginning of...

Undergraduatechiefbitch - Aug 30, 2015
justivy03
11:08am
What Luther King suggested in his quote? Critical thinking is a central goal of Jesuit education.

3 - - For instance, One of the words is how to... - ForOne example,... - When we speaktalk about English,......

Undergraduatea7lamajro7 - Yesterday
justivy03
10:55am
I've been invited to a charity TV show where I saw the embarrassments and tears in children's eyes

4 - Hi everyone, here is my second draft for my essay. The words should be controlled within the length of 600-650 words,...

Undergraduateundergra801 - Aug 29, 2015
undergra801
Yesterday
Describe a conflict in your life and the skills and resources you used to resolve it.

5 - Well, @abby, please don't call yourself an idiot because there's no such thing. We all make mistakes and everyday is a...

Undergraduateabbyjonesss - Aug 5, 2015
justivy03
Aug 30, 2015
'Who do you want to be' - My answers would vary daily, from baker to ballerina

6 - - ....every child is asked a countless amount of times. - ...have to make when college camecome around. -...

Undergraduatepowwow - Aug 5, 2015
justivy03
Aug 30, 2015
New classes, new school. I was finally a "big kid" in my eyes. ApplyTexas collegiate essay prompt A.

4 - @Castro, well done dear!!! You've got one good essay here and it's entertaining as well as classy. I'd like to share...

UndergraduateCastro98 - Aug 10, 2015
justivy03
Aug 30, 2015
Growing up in Africa can be both a challenge and a blessing. College Admission Essay

4 - - ....being told we were able to go tovisit the computer... - You go to a certain classes once or...

Undergraduatelili_eritrean - Aug 13, 2015
justivy03
Aug 30, 2015
Self- Reflection Personal Statement For UC admissions

4 - Thanks for the responses you guys. I really appreciate how much effort you two put into reading other people's essays. It...

UndergraduateHenr247 - Aug 25, 2015
Henr247
Aug 29, 2015
Air Force Academy entry essay - serving my country

4 - I appreciate the good responses. A lot of good ideas. Thanks

Undergraduategrayson01 - Aug 25, 2015
grayson01
Aug 28, 2015
Educational and Career Goals: Why I want to be a mechanical engineer

4 - As a kid, I loved problems. I loved the idea of a challenge that took me more than a few minutes...

UndergraduateAubreythefruit - Aug 27, 2015
Brookyrailfan
Aug 28, 2015
Working in a real industry gives me experience I need. Study plan for transfer application process.

2 - - Despite of my faint childhood memories, - ..Indonesia has been still remainingremained as one of unforgettable event in my...

UndergraduateCavin H - Aug 28, 2015
justivy03
Aug 28, 2015
My Life Along The Railroad

3 - - ....became an integral part of my life oncewhen I received... - As for myselfme,... - ..and keep...

UndergraduateBrookyrailfan - Aug 27, 2015
justivy03
Aug 28, 2015
Does the course at school prepare you for work in the future?

4 - I would like to help you with choosing more descriptive words in your essay. I really like the first...

UndergraduateTwinklegreen - Aug 27, 2015
lcturn87
Aug 27, 2015
Challenges of a turban / Tomato Head - background, talent essay

4 - - ...discrimination because of my different looks. - Being different forces me to confront who I really am... - So...

Undergraduatejasrajsingh1 - Aug 13, 2015
justivy03
Aug 27, 2015
Harvard Supplement: Role of Medicine in my Life

4 - - Honestly, I retained alittle. - But myMy ( this sentence should start good and "but" is not the right...

Undergraduatesoniap55 - Aug 14, 2015
justivy03
Aug 27, 2015
Peace Corps essay - Reasons for joining - I dream of making a small change

4 - - Peace Corps corresponded to all my idealsaspirations. - BeingLiving in a foreign country, helping people... - The idea was...

Undergraduatemadme87 - Aug 14, 2015
justivy03
Aug 27, 2015
Bike or not? 'I just learned to ride' common app essay - may it bring a wrong impression of me?

5 - I can help you with some of your essay. I am going to help you with some changes for the first...

UndergraduateMvppjr17 - Aug 26, 2015
lcturn87
Aug 26, 2015
Sociology and human aspects - University of Oregon essay

2 - - The human personbeing is a complex and individualistic beingprofile. - ....and his bond betweenamongst fellow individuals... - The nature...

UndergraduateBossbitch - Aug 25, 2015
justivy03
Aug 26, 2015
I want to change the world! SOP Transfer Essay

2 - - ...I hope to promote the attainment of the skills necessary to... - ....education and history was ignited during my sophomore...

Undergraduatecctxkid - Aug 25, 2015
justivy03
Aug 26, 2015
UofWa Transfer Statement on how life and study in college has shaped me.

2 - Meenu, I will tackle the first 3 paragraphs on your application essay; - My college career has only consisted of...

UndergraduateMeeenu - Aug 25, 2015
justivy03
Aug 26, 2015
List of questions. Could anyone correct my study plan?

6 - @Ankur, I will try to add a few remarks to enhance this particular question line. Question 4: How will this...

UndergraduateAnkur_112 - Aug 6, 2015
justivy03
Aug 25, 2015
'severe case of asthma' - UC personal statment about my world in which I grew up

3 - - So While the neighborhood kids ran... - ...what wasis outside. - As the years went onby,.. - more physical...

Undergraduateap759 - Aug 24, 2015
justivy03
Aug 25, 2015
Different view from a teacher or employer during a performance evaluation process

3 - - .....sketchbooks were due onceevery a week. - This meant anything of your choosingyou choose. - ....of a nude...

Undergraduateraleigh - Aug 24, 2015
justivy03
Aug 25, 2015
The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later succes. Common application, Apply Texas

4 - Thanks a lot for the suggestions!! Just got back from my grandparents' place in India and since there was no internet,...

UndergraduateRithamB - Aug 15, 2015
RithamB
Aug 25, 2015
Apply Texas Essay C, How my Achievements have prepared me for mechanical engineering

6 - I edited it one last time. Would you mind to please tell me your thoughts on this? I dreamed as...

UndergraduateAubreythefruit - Aug 23, 2015
Aubreythefruit
Aug 24, 2015
Blank is the new blank. What's in, what's out, and why is it being replaced? UChicago essay help

5 - Its a good essay overall try to be a little more concrete from next time.

Undergraduatepatgaws797 - Aug 21, 2015
gayu
Aug 24, 2015
Health fair in the San Ysidro community - the story of becoming an adult person

3 - - I found myself on July 19, 2015; I think I have an obsession with punctuation marks and on this part...

UndergraduateJacmob - Aug 14, 2015
justivy03
Aug 23, 2015
Asian Family / Self-Esteem - 'Bump in the road' UCF ESSAY HELP

5 - So far, my life has had many "bumps" in the road. I battle with self-esteem issues and mostly distrust with my...

Undergraduateyuunnie - Aug 22, 2015
yuunnie
Aug 23, 2015
Apply Texas Essay B-- How my feelings were changed by Personal Interactions

4 - I would like to help you with your essay. 1st paragraph: The first sentence, you should place a comma...

UndergraduateAubreythefruit - Aug 21, 2015
lcturn87
Aug 23, 2015
GOAL IS TO ENHANCE THE LIVES OF STUDENTS. MUSIC EDUCATION. APPLY TEXAS PROMPT C.

3 - - It was a gift that was bestowed untoupon me - that I have been obligedgrateful for and ever willing...

UndergraduateKathleenluvvy - Aug 21, 2015
justivy03
Aug 23, 2015
My grandmother's "jackpot" cancer (peritoneal mesothelioma) - hardships that influenced me

6 - @jas, I think I overlooked the revised one, however, my remarks were based out the revised essay. I had read the...

Undergraduatejasmsu - Aug 19, 2015
justivy03
Aug 23, 2015
My goals will change more than I will be able to keep up with.

3 - - No, life isn't perfect;, it is a crazy and heck-it messy life. - Sean is my husband's name;, (...

Undergraduatebeckybob2009 - Aug 21, 2015
justivy03
Aug 23, 2015
My interests and passions do not always come to me naturally; Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 essay

3 - Woodesy, yes indeed, it will help if you cite examples, may it be similarities, contrasting ideas and be more engaging, it...

UndergraduateWoodseyOwl - Aug 22, 2015
justivy03
Aug 23, 2015
All of my goals derive from my passion for problem solving and helping others. College Application

4 - - Because of this, ( starting your sentence with "because" is not the best way to start itI aspire to...

Undergraduatesalfernandez555 - Aug 10, 2015
justivy03
Aug 23, 2015
Common Application Essay #1 - My passion for reading books

3 - - "Hello! Are you here to look for summer reading books? My favorite summer read is--" My mind solemnly drifted towards...

UndergraduateSocialist1998 - Aug 20, 2015
TheSheep
Aug 22, 2015
"A cat. Several spitballs. A game." Seeking help for Carleton supplyment essay; Why Carleton

4 - Hello, I would like to give you a few suggestions. The opening of your essay seems to have incomplete sentences...

Undergraduateglk1225 - Aug 21, 2015
lcturn87
Aug 21, 2015
"Traveling outgrows its motives..." Dreams of wondering / Semester at Sea

4 - - Since I wasAs a child, I had been introduced - to an immersion of cultures through dancing, -...

UndergraduateRubyzamb - Aug 13, 2015
justivy03
Aug 21, 2015
Valuing things that requred hard word - Write an essay on the following prompt.

2 - - Valuing things that requredrequires hard wordwork ( be careful of your spelling) - Earlier I used to wonder how good...

Undergraduategayu - Aug 20, 2015
justivy03
Aug 21, 2015
Troubles in a middle school and how to deal with them - USAFA Writing Sample

2 - - ..I begunbegan to associate with the troublemakers.. - My counselor sat me down and(this is unnecessary) was very honest...

UndergraduateUSAFAapplicant7 - Aug 19, 2015
justivy03
Aug 20, 2015
'To thine own self be untrue' - Common App Prompt #2

3 - Kingdraco, let me work on the area of the essay were you need help the most; - I changed my...

Undergraduatekingdraco89 - Aug 18, 2015
justivy03
Aug 20, 2015
Riverbend Retreat Camp - Apply Texas B, "Describe a conflict, how you resolved it?"

3 - - This hasmade getting.. - The most frustrating situation at the camp for me was when - ...one of...

UndergraduateAubreythefruit - Aug 18, 2015
justivy03
Aug 20, 2015
Thoughts per day - my personal essay describes me and shows my uniqueness

3 - 1st paragraph - ...was a cycle of never ending thoughts; , (be mindful of your punctuation marks)thoughts - In SurroundingsThe...

UndergraduateaaliyahS - Aug 18, 2015
justivy03
Aug 20, 2015
Why Georgia Tech? - scientific skills further development, legion of extracurricular activities

3 - - ...problems easily and thus, enhance my -ThoughBesides the fact that I am member of a science community... -...

Undergraduatenathansp98 - Aug 17, 2015
justivy03
Aug 19, 2015
Indonesian student in SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY: CommonApp Questions

3 - Proof reading; 1. Briefly describe how you learned about Santa Clara University. (150 words maximum) - I want to remain...

Undergraduatejlskinner2 - Aug 17, 2015
justivy03
Aug 19, 2015
'to be a leader in the colossal shark tank of the corporate world' - Texas A&M 2016 application

3 - - By taking these classes, I have gained an outstandingenormous amount - ...and not just anot to do it like...

Undergraduateabbyjonesss - Aug 16, 2015
justivy03
Aug 19, 2015
A woman in Computer Sciences. University of Washington Transfer Statement: "Aim for Diversity."

3 - - ...else scientific as a bond between me andmy father and I. - From then on I knew that I...

UndergraduateStephD - Aug 13, 2015
justivy03
Aug 19, 2015
I look back at my 'misfortune' and smile. One of the prompts in Texas application.

3 - - Among the other topics that would come up atto the table - was my dad's talk oflitany about work,...

Undergraduatejustbelieve - Aug 14, 2015
justivy03
Aug 19, 2015
Movie role choice question - University of Florida 2016 Undergraduate Essay

3 - - ...and be anadvocate for those who are lacking advocatesself esteem. - Thus, beganThis is the beginning of my interest...

Undergraduatemadymonzon - Aug 15, 2015
justivy03
Aug 18, 2015
What are the most important qualities in becoming a successful USMA cadet? 250-500 words

3 - - An USMA cadet is... - ...live bywith the basic concept... - ...commitment thata cadet has to the army. @Candidate,...

UndergraduateCandidate - Aug 11, 2015
justivy03
Aug 18, 2015
If there has been some obstacle or "bump in the road," in your academic or personal life,

3 - - Arriving to American, -...words carefully;, ( be careful of your punctuation marks, this is minor remarks but its better...

Undergraduatevanngoc3598 - Aug 12, 2015
justivy03
Aug 18, 2015
Common App: My Incomprehensible Interest for Korea

3 - Magged, first of all, I guess we can change your essay prompt. - My Incomprehensibleoverwhelming Interest for Korea At least...

Undergraduatemagged - Aug 9, 2015
justivy03
Aug 18, 2015
My whole life I've beaten the odds; Fsu essay

3 - - My whole life, I've beaten the odds. - I was born prematurely at 26 weeks, - I suffered a...

UndergraduateAlterdn - Oct 15, 2013
justivy03
Aug 18, 2015
Challenging transition - College essay/personal statement

3 - - I was used to many people sharing the same beliefs as meI do. - I never realized how many...

Undergraduatep13p3ng - Aug 6, 2015
justivy03
Aug 15, 2015
UT Austin Transfer - Statement of Purpose (Topic A) - "For a Short While, We Were Legion"

3 - -...I feel that I am underserved am in a place where I'm not able to expand and feel my worthhere. -...

UndergraduateThedarkestdawn - Aug 4, 2015
justivy03
Aug 15, 2015
Low self esteem and insecurity - 'obstacles in your life' essay

3 - - ....one often only considers the external conflicts faced. - Low self esteem and insecurity are common tomany children growing...

Undergraduatecocowing - Aug 5, 2015
justivy03
Aug 15, 2015
How you see your future - your goals and ambitions? Predicting can be difficult due to many factors.

3 - - Predicting one's future can be difficult considering the many factors that can affect.. - ...typical answer: ,to get a job...

Undergraduatejohnnygu - Aug 5, 2015
justivy03
Aug 15, 2015
Clash of different experiences. Essay for college admissions.

3 - -....was accompanied by the wondrous possibility of a job. - I don't mean every other Tuesday he would offer up...

UndergraduateBreanne1398 - Aug 3, 2015
justivy03
Aug 15, 2015
Don't Dwell on things out of your control. Common app prompt #2.

2 - 1. sports are VERY overdone. of course, stick with what you believe in. But i'd also consider other alternatives if I...

UndergraduateCVN - Aug 14, 2015
soniap55
Aug 14, 2015
I qualified for the DECA International Career Development Conference in Atlanta - transition essay

3 - Thank you very much!

Undergraduatedecakid - Aug 5, 2015
decakid
Aug 7, 2015
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