Welcome to EsayForum. I had to move your post to a new thread. Please comment on other people's essays to tell them about the impressions the essays made on you.
Also, spend some time writing essays, and post them each in a NEW THREAD. We can find your errors and correct them.
Here is some advice:
When you write an essay, start by writing the topic sentence for paragraph 2. (Google 'topic sentence' to learn about it.) Then, write a sentence to explain what you mean. Then give an example. Then, give another sentence about it, and maybe tell about why it is important.
When you follow that process, you will have a whole paragraph written. Then, come up with another idea for the topic sentence of paragraph 3. Repeat the process of explaining and giving examples.
After you have written enough body paragraphs, go back and write an introduction paragraph that introduces the main idea of the whole essay.