It's 2 o' clock in the morning, I woke up to the sound of silence. Well, my partner was not laying beside me on the bed. My hands searched for him blindly in the darkness. I still can feel his warmth on the bed. He was probably leaving not so long time ago. I gasped and whispered to myself, "He must been at somewhere else." Soon, I grabbed my coat and dressed it and went out from the house which was surrounded by warm air.
It was snowing outside. The street was covered by the crystal clear white snow. The street was not silent as it was in Christmas mood. The cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight. I still could see some sweet couples and lonely pedestrians walking on the street. My eyes were non-stop rolling searching for him. I wondered where could he been. Suddenly, I trembled. I forgot to put on my hand socks. My hands were cold and freezing and they were in red colour now. I took a deep breathe and blew into my hands. I felt warm a bit now. Then, I realized that he was not wearing any clothes that can provide him warmth at all. His big coat was hanging at our wardrobe.
So I fasten my step, hopefully could find him as soon as possible. Accidently, I passed by a bar that we used to drink and talk about during old times. I remember that you told me about your dreams here. I remember how your looks when singing in the lounge here. I also remember you asked me to become your girlfriend here. I also remember that how you proposed to me here. Yeah, we just still left holding our wedding here. The last thing we haven't done at here. Jekyll Bar, a place that we had lots of memories here no matter sweet or pain memories. The bar hasn't closed. I could hear a band was performing inside. I approached the door and opened it automatically. I stepped into Jekyll Bar and I found you with a bottle of wine, 1998 Château de Fargues, oh ya, 1998, the year we met here.
Your head was in the curtains. You were drunk. Your heart was like the fourth of July. Your mouth was mumbling. I barely heard anything from you. I bent down and tried to comfort you. You swore and said, "we...we are not...not shining stars". Yeah, I knew that because I never said we are. You dreamt of being the superstar in the country, no, in the universe one day. You decided to start from singing in a small bar although your family had a row with you because of this. You put in a lot of effect. Tragically, time flied passed, you're still an anonymous band singer inside the bar. Not only you, but all of us who supported you felt disappointed. You quitted from your dream and started working as a small staff in a small firm. What you do on your job totally let you feel sick.
I wiped his face with a piece of clean cloth. I softly remove his hand from the paper that he was holding. It was a piece of paper full of music notes and without any lyrics and titles. I quickly ran through about it. I hummed the song soundly. And I got some inspirations. If you're lost and alone, Or you're sinking like a stone, Carry on on-n-n-n-n-n, May your past be the sound, Of your feet upon the ground, Carry on-n-n-n-n-n.
He slowly opened his eyes. He was kinda surprised that the lyrics that I hummed fit into his song. "I'm sorry that I woke you up" I said. He said nothing. Instead, he rubbed his eyes and found his pencil to jot it down. His left hand was giggling until his pencil drop on the ground. He tried to pick it up but he failed to do so. I helped him to pick it up and handed it to him. He looked at me into his charming eyes and thanked me with great gratefulness. He was getting conscious. Soon, he finished writing the lyrics of the song.
He put down his pencil and turned into me and said, "Thanks for supporting me for so long time. I know that I always disappoint you. I failed to be success and I hurt you and myself. Now I know. No matter what things happen in future, I'll learn to carry on like you said in this song." He smiled at me. The smile, the broad smile, with dimples at the both side of his cheeks, that I didn't see them long time ago.
"Let's go! Let's go home!" I said. Then, he reached my hand and we ran out from Jekyll Bar. Like old times, we ran from Street 12 to Street 9. We haven't done such romantic thing after 6 years. But the reality we were not as young as before. We stopped at Street 10 and we breathe hardly. I turned back and saw our footprints on the snow. The footprints that only belonged to him and me. He looked cold and I took off my scarf and I put it around his necks. He smiled again and kissed on my forehead. He grabbed my hand and carried me home with slow and rhythmical pace. He hummed the song.
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peiting94
It's 2 o' clock in the morning, I woke up to the sound of silence. Well, my partner was not laying beside me on the bed. My hands searched for him blindly in the darkness. I still can feel his warmth on the bed. He was probably leaving not so long time ago . I gasped and whispered to myself, "He must been at somewhere else." Soon, I grabbed my coat and dressed it and went out from the house which was surrounded by warm air.
Well- Don't use well to start a sentence like this. Even though you might use it in conversation, it's not neessary in writting
He was probably leaving not so long time ago- Use the same tense throughout the sentence. "He had probably just left."
Soon, I grabbed my coat and dressed it and went out from the house which was surrounded by warm air- Soon is not used correctly. Too many "and"s it makes it a run on sentence- "Quickly, I grabbed my coat and put it on as I ran out into the cold."
It was snowing outside. The street was covered by the crystal clear white snow. The street was not silent as it was in Christmas mood. The cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight. I still could see some sweet couples and lonely pedestrians walking on the street. My eyes were non-stop rolling searching for him. I wondered where could he been . Suddenly, I trembled .
The street was covered by the crystal clear white snow.- you can't say it was crystal clear and white. Pick one
The street was not silent as it was in Christmas mood.- Instead of saying "not silent," use an adjective to describe what it sounds like- "The street was full of laughter, as everyone was in the Christmas mood."
been- be
Suddenly, I trembled- Suddenly I began to tremble. no comma
