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Secretary Speech - "Oh, so you want to be the typing person?"


Shpresa 4 / 10 1  
Jan 11, 2014   #1
I am running for a youth NGO secretary and I need to make a max. 5 min. speech about why I want to be a secretary.

I would appreciate it very much if you guys gave me any sort of feedback.
Here is the speech:

Good afternoon! My name is ________________. I am a freshman at ______________ and I am running for secretary.

Today, on my way here I encountered an old friend of mine. We chatted for a little bit and when I told her that I was running for a secretary, she exclaimed in a rather sarcastic tone: "Oh, so you want to be the typing person?"

Her comment made me think, thus I want to tell you that the reason I am running for a secretary is much more important than simply typing. I am here today because I want our projects to be successful and I want to give my greatest contribution to have them so. I believe that I posses skills that make an effective secretary. Having held numerous leadership positing such ASB member and Class President have enhanced my communication skills, therefore I am able to respond to public inquiries and serve as an effective guide to the new members. Moreover, my experiences as Literature and Media Club secretary at _____ have helped me gain a greater insight in a secretary's job. I am able not only to keep precise record of our meeting and events, but also to keep everything orderly and accessible. Last, but not least, being an exchange student abroad as a youth ambassador of our country taught me how to be a good representative , thus I will give my best to be a righteous representative of our Board of Directors and our organization.

I believe we have great thing ahead of us and my skills will be a great asset to our Board; with me as a secretary everything will be able to run smoothly organized.

Thank you!


What do you think??
Qammer 2 / 3  
Jan 12, 2014   #2
Shpresa
I am running for a secretary, which is much more important than simply typing. also you stated in you r last line "great thing" it should be great things. as well as you used great twice in a sentence. you should change one to like good or excellent.
Finell - / 1  
Jan 12, 2014   #3
Your second paragraph, which you use as the lead-in for the main part of your speech, is false. You did not encounter an old friend on your way to deliver your campaign speech. Your friend's non-existent remark did not lead you to compose the rest of your speech just before you deliver it. In fact, you wrote your speech beforehand, even asked others for help, and chose to use an invented anecdote as a rhetorical device. Do you really want to run for office based these falsehoods?
OP Shpresa 4 / 10 1  
Jan 13, 2014   #4
Thanks for the comment. Yes, I did not encounter an friend exactly at that time. However, I really met a friend who told me that and that meeting led me to those thoughts; I just thought it would be complicated if I tried to explain my story in 3 minutes that I met my friend three weeks ago and we talked about me running for a secretary and later that made me think how the secretaries are stereotyped, which I want to break by running for secretary for this particular organization. I adjusted it just because I needed a hook and this is actually the reason why I posted it here: so that you can suggest me something effective. I do not have that much experience with speeches and I wanted to see if the outline I worked out (intro, anecdote, presentation of skills, closing) really works. I don't think it's wrong to ask for help and if you could give any help it would be greatly appreciated.
elterrible 1 / 1  
Jan 13, 2014   #5
Having held numerous leadership positions suchincluding ASB membership and Class President

I am able not only to keep precise record of our meeting and events

Not only am I able to keep precise records of our meetings and events

Today, on my way here I encountered an old friend of mine

Although a bit questionable, it did serve its purpose as a hook and helped introduce the topic.

It would help if you explain a bit further how your leadership positions enhanced your communication skills to add length to the speech, of course without overdoing

In the end, its an assertive and direct speech. I wish you the best of luck :)
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Feb 16, 2014   #6
Today, on my way here I encountered an old friend of mine.

Today, on my way here I met an old friend of mine.

We chatted for a little bit and when I told her that I was running for a secretary, she exclaimed in a rather sarcastic tone: "Oh, so you want to be the typing person?"

While we were chatting with each other, I just told her that I am planning to run for the post of secretary. Then she said to me in a sarcastic tone "Oh, so you want to be the typing person?"

Her commentremark made me thinkponder,thusand I want to tell you that the reason why I am running for athe secretary's position is much more important than simplya typing task.


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