Hi everyone! I have to write this speak for my "health" class about my dreams. I've been writing tons of speeches but I don't like any of them. The one below is the last one I wrote. Could you tell me what you think about it?
The speech has to have an attention getter, and the conclusion has to be at least 30 seconds long.
Attention Getter:
I have a dream....that one day this nation will grow up to realize what kind of a world we have created. We have taken this beautiful world for granted too many times and I say it's time that somebody stood up for what they believe in and say enough is enough! I am here to talk to you today about my dream of not only making our country a beautiful, safe, high functioning place, but to make this world a beautiful, high functioning place.
Body:
I have a dream... That one day when I have to make a commute to one place or another that I won't have to go through the "bad part of town" it's my dream, my passion, my goal, my aspiration to make everywhere a good place.
I have a dream... that one day our great and beautiful world will come together as one and fix the mess that we have made and are still making. It seems to me that everyone has forgotten what our great and beautiful world should be about, and that includes all of us in the USA. Being free does not mean being violent and cruel to your environment, your peers, or your world. It is my greatest fear that some day we are all going to be saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone" because we couldn't get past our differences, pull together and fix the messes we've made.
I have a dream... that one day we will all learn to get along with each other. I hope that everyone out there suddenly realizes that no matter how intelligent or unintelligent, beautiful or ugly, slim or overweight we must all be treated the same.
It is my hope...that all of you can see my dream too. Cause even if I take all that steps: go to college, start my climb of the corporate latter, and maybe even be the president of the USA, I still can't change the world. I can't change it all by myself. Everybody has to believe in the dream or everything will stay the same.
Conclusion:
I will leave you all with this simple quote from Dr. Seuss: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not."
I personally think this is an overall well-written speech, but, I do think that you should change some of the words for better synonyms. I'm not saying to go to Thesauraus.com and pick out very complicated synonyms for your chosen words, but there has to be variety in your diction.
I have a dream....that one day this nation will grow up to realize what kind of a world we have created.
We have taken this beautiful world for granted too many times ---I think this should say, 'for too long'. --- and I say it's time that somebody stood up for what they believe in and say enough is enough!
I have a dream... that one day we will all learn to get along with each other. I hope that everyone out there suddenly realizes that no matter how intelligent or unintelligent, beautiful or ugly, slim or overweight we must all be treated the same.---you might also mention color, nationality, religious beliefs, etc.
Cause even if I take all the steps: go to college, start my climb of the corporate ladder , and maybe even become the P resident of the USA, I still can't change the world.
:)
