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comparison and contrast between palestine and usa



mary123Threads: 3
Posts: 15
Author: mary peter
   
Mar 31, 2010, 06:29pm   #1
hello everyone
this is a compare and contrast essay
about Palestine and USA
i wrote the introduction
can some one fix it for me

Palestine country has been through a tragedy in the past years. The 1948 war attacks has made a huge impact on Palestine. Despite that event, The United States of America (commonly referred to as the United States, the U.S., the USA, or America) is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district. Palestine is located in South-West Asia and is in the heart of the Middle East. To its north is Syria and Lebanon, to its south the Gulf of Aqaba and the Sinai Peninsula, and on its east is Jordan. United State is located in North America, bordering both the North Atlantic Ocean and the North Pacific Ocean, between Canada and Mexico. Both countries have are big, Palestine covers an area of 27.000 square kilometers. while united stated cover area At 3.79 million square miles (9.83 million km2). Both countries have many differences based on Holiday, food, and customs.


any suggestions??



mary123Threads: 3
Posts: 15
Author: mary peter
   
Mar 31, 2010, 09:18pm   #2
this is the first body paragraph




The holidays of these two countries is an important topic to talk about. Muslim festival are timed according to local sightings of various phases of the moon. During the lunar month of Ramadan that precedes Eid al-Fitr, Muslims fast during the day and feast at night and normal business patterns may be interrupted. Some disruption may continue into Eid al-Fitr itself. Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha may last up to several days, depending on the region. Everyone in United State spends the December holidays doing special things celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ . Decorating houses and yards with lights, putting up Christmas trees, giving gifts, and sending greeting cards. Christmas Day is a holiday held on December 25.


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Apr 1, 2010, 06:15pm   #3
Despite that event, The United States of America (commonly referred to as the United States, the U.S., the USA, or America) (not necessary) is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district. Despite the 1948 attacks, America is a republic with 50 states? I don't think you are using "despite" correctly.

here is what to do:
Take these sentences and separate them. Organize them into paragraphs.

Write a paragraph about Palestine, and then write a paragraph about the United States.

Then, write a 3rd paragraph about both together, their relationship to one another. These can be your three body paragraphs. When they are written, go write an intro that expresses the main idea about your observation as you compare the 2 countries. Finally, write a thoughtful conclusion paragraph.

That will be a total of 5 paragraphs. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly says the idea of the paragraph.


mary123Threads: 3
Posts: 15
Author: mary peter
   
Apr 2, 2010, 04:03pm   #4
thank you Kevin
but this is not the teacher point
she said: in each paragraph talk about both countries

here is my thesis sentence
culture difference between Palestine and united state are easily seen in their holidays, foods, and customs.

based on this im going to talk about holidays for both countries in first body paragraph
in the second paragraph the food
and in the third paragraph their customs
and then the conclusion.

Thank You


mary123Threads: 3
Posts: 15
Author: mary peter
   
Apr 3, 2010, 02:00pm   #5
This is my first body paragraph
any suggestions?


The holidays in Palestine and United States have many difference. For example, Muslim festival in Palestine are timed according to local sightings of various phases of the moon. During the lunar month of Ramadan that precedes Eid al-Fitr, Muslims fast during the day and feast at night and normal business patterns may be interrupted. Some disruption may continue into Eid al-Fitr itself. Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha may last up to several days, depending on the region. Furthermore in the United State everyone spends the December holidays doing special things celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ . Decorating houses and yards with lights, putting up Christmas trees, giving gifts, and sending greeting cards. Christmas Day is a holiday held on December 25.



do I have to keep write the united state or its fine to write united state???


AzeriThreads: 10
Posts: 207
Author: H.B.Sadikhova
   
Apr 3, 2010, 06:12pm   #6
First three sentences of your speech are unclear and not correlated. You write of unrelated ideas skipping from one idea to a completely different one. For example, in first two sentences you talk about tragedy that occur with Palestine, then suddenly switch to state strucutre of USA and directly after that to geographical location of Palestine. Thus, no connection between sentences exist, which renders the paragraph look incoherent. May be you should follow Kevin's advice or at least, provide transactions in your sentences that will help to smothly shift from one idea to another or integrate facts about two countries and, indeed, will assist you in making comparison


mary123Threads: 3
Posts: 15
Author: mary peter
   
Apr 3, 2010, 08:00pm   #7
will i did my introduction again
here it is

I have been privileged to have lived in both Palestine and the United States. I found the culture of both countries to be fascinated cultural. From my observation, I would say there are a huge difference between Palestine and the United States of America in many aspect. Palestine has been through many tragedies in the past several years. The 1948 war between Palestine and Israel had had a huge impact on Palestine. Palestine is located in south west Asia and in the heart of the middle east. To its north is Syria and Lebanon, to its south the Gulf of Aqaba and the Sinai Peninsula, and on its east is Jordan. The United States is located in North America, bordering both the North Atlantic Ocean and the North Pacific Ocean, between Canada and Mexico. Both countries have are big, Palestine covers an area of 27.000 square kilometers. While the United States covers an area At 3.79 million square miles (9.83 million km2). Culture difference between Palestine and the United States are easily seen in their holidays, foods, and customs.

The holiday in Palestine and United States have many difference. For example, Muslim festival in Palestine are timed according to local sightings of various phases of the moon. During the lunar month of Ramadan that precedes Eid al-Fitr, Muslims fast during the day and feast at night and normal business patterns may be interrupted. Some disruption may continue into Eid al-Fitr itself. Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha may last up to several days, depending on the region. Furthermore in the United State everyone spends the December holidays doing special things celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ . Decorating houses and yards with lights, putting up Christmas trees, giving gifts, and sending greeting cards. Christmas Day is a holiday held on December 25.

these first two paragraphs
any suggestions?


EF_KevinThreads: 33
Posts: 14,155
Author: You can help a lot of people by visiting the "Unanswered" threads!
 Likes 4  
Apr 4, 2010, 05:53pm   #8
mary123:
in each paragraph talk about both countries

That means it is the kind of compare contrast essay called "opposing."

Google this for a good explanation:
Compare and contrast essay opposing

mary123:
do I have to keep write the united state or its fine to write united state???

You can write "the U.S." or "the United States."

Remember to write about both the similarities and differences in each paragraph.
Culture differences and similarities between Palestine and the United States are easily seen in their holidays, foods, and customs.


Good This is going to have good organization. But remember that compare and contrast mean similarities AND differences.

:-)




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