"Florida; I commited myself to alot of the programs" - college scholarship

Hi. Im working on my college scholarship application. can you please check for grammer and spelling and see if im on topic with the prompt. i really need help please. the prompt is why do i deserve a scholarship.

Residing in Downtown. West Palm Beach, Florida. It's uncommon for us children to make it to high school let alone graduate with plans on furthering our education at an higher institute. Being the first out of my seven sibling's to graduate with plans on going to college i don't want my education to end because of my lack of finance. Having this scholarship i truly believe would be my golden opportunity to get out of poverty and make my mother proud. Growing up where everything is limited and the constant negativity from my peers that encloses me trying to shake my faith and steer me away from my education i stayed strong. I deserve this scholarship because im a very determined, hardworking individual that believe i have to work hard in life to get to where i want to be in life. In high schooli maintained at 3.1 grade point average and made honor role every nine weeks. i commited myself to alot of the programs like the JROTC program where i worked my way up to Second lieutenant and executive officer. i joined the basketball team and was a student in student government and a memeber of women of tomorrow. My women of tomorrow mentor once told me that hardwork does payoff and i'll like to think that my time has come. having the opportunity to go to college i know my hard work and determination has not been in vain.

Residing in downtown West Palm Beach, Florida, it's uncommon for children to make...---I made some changes here.

I think you should move this POWERFUL sentence to the beginning of the essay: Having This scholarship, I truly believe, would be my golden opportunity to get out of poverty and make my mother proud.----I added some cmmas and crossed out a word! :-)

Always capitalize the word "I"
... because I am a very ...

determined, hardworking individual that and believe I have ...

...that hard work does pay off, and I like to think that my time has come.

Capitalize the first word of every sentence!

If you want the scholarship, it is important to describe your goals. What careers do you want to have? What goals have you set for the next one year?

:-)