ENERGY FIELD; Statement of Career Objectives; SCHOLARSHIP

Dear Guys,

It is great to be here. I would like you guys to have a read on my essay which I wrote for applying for an admission for a scholarship and please kindly give some comments in order for me to improve it. The essay is as below:

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My curiosity of Energy field led me to be one of members of a wind pump project while I was studying at third year in Industrial and Mechanical Department of Institute of Technology of Cambodia. It was very great that I had such an opportunity to take part in this project because it helped me to gain skills that I have never had before such as organizational, team-building, and researching skills. It also demonstrated me that wind can be one of an energy resources that we can use it to pump the water. Since then, I realize that I am really interested in energy field.

After my graduation, I have been offered a job in the energy field and I have been working in this field for almost two years. During my career, I found that energy is a very critical need for society: it is impossible to operate a factory, run a shop, grow crops, and deliver goods to consumers without using some form of energy. By understanding that energy is such important, it inspire me to pursue my degree in this field in greater depth because I strongly believe that only high educates will have a deep understanding and be able to deliver theirs knowledge to develop theirs societies.

As an Energy Development and Consultancy, I will perform my duties to support consumers with my expertise and develop energy solutions to be effective in term of cost saving and standardization. Many remote areas in my country are having issues with the lack of energy from day to day. I intend to spend some time working with these areas and find some suitable solutions for them to have enough energy to use in their daily life.

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It was a great opportunity for me to develop my interpersonal skills, team spirit and research capabilities.
It also demonstrated me that wind can be one of anthe energy resourcessources that we can use it to pump the water.
After my graduation, I have been offered a job in the energy field and I have been working in this field for almost two years.in which I now have over two years work exposure.

Hi Dumi,

Thank you for your comments ! Anyways, I would like to ask you whether my essay replied to the topic or not.

Would you kindly advise me ?