Hi,
I'm writing an essay for a scholarship and I would like feedback on this draft of my essay,
this is the topic:
Describe an experience that you have had or a concept you have learned about that intellectually excites you. When answering this question, you may want to consider some of the following questions: Why does this topic excite you? How does it impact the way you or others experience the world? What questions do you continue to ponder about it? (500 word limit.)
My Essay:
From a very young age, I loved to get my point across in any discussion. If you named a topic, I had an opinion on it. However, I wasn't really aware of this until I was introduced to the forum of debate.
It can be traced back to 7th grade. Our class's literature teacher announced to us that we would be having a class debate. Our topic was the staple argument that almost all debaters start off with: school uniforms. I already knew how strongly I felt about that topic at the time and was ecstatic when I was placed on the opposing side.
Up until that point, I can't remember feeling so enthused about anything. Almost immediately I commenced researching. Research had always felt so monotonous. It was the same thing over and over again, but not this time. I became enveloped in all the facts that I was learning. It was like a new door had been opened and a whirlwind of new information was hitting me.
It wasn't long after that, that I started breaking out the notecards. I had always loved to write, but this was writing on a whole new level. After I had gathered so many strong points for my argument, I began putting all the facts together and practicing what I would say and timing it. I can remember so many nights I spent in the mirror trying to sound as passionate and persuasive as I could about the issue. I could only pratice so much, as the big day finally arrived.
Usually when I spoke or presented something in front of a crowd, I was generally nervous. As a matter of fact it would be entirely plausible for me to be extremely nervous that day, as debate was something I had never experienced. And nervous I was, until I got up on that podium and looked to the onward crowd (by crowd I mean panel of 3 teacher judges). I rarely even had to glance down at my notecards, as I had practiced so much, I had everything I wanted to say down to a science. Quicker than I had expected, my time was up, and I stepped down from the stage, having said everything I needed to say. The debate was very close, but the overall outcome was that our opposing side lost.
Regardless of this outcome, I was very proud of myself for having taken on this task. More than that, I had found a new passion. I found the perfect way to voice my opinion without being seen as stubborn or argumentative. I have participated in some debates since then and debate also introduced to another passion: law. All in all everyone has an opinion about something, and for me, as well as for many others I suspect, debate has given me a more powerful voice.
From a very young age, I have loved getting my point across in any discussion.
"It was like a new door had been opened and a whirlwind of new information was hitting me." This is great!
It wasn't long after that, that I started breaking out the note cards .
I could only practice so much, as the big day finally arrived.
Usually when I spoke or presented something in front of a crowd, I was generally nervous.
And nervous I was, until I got up on that podium and looked to the onward crowd (by crowd I mean panel of 3 teacher judges).
I rarely even had to glance down at my note cards , as I had practiced so much, I had everything I wanted to say down to a science.
I have participated in some debates since then and Debate also introduced me to another passion: law.
Thanks so much for the feedback and peer-editing,
it really helped,
and yep it's for questbridge,
so wish me luck!! :]
