plz correct my answer and give me some advices about my answer. it is the first time i apply a scholarship programe, so i am so confusion. thanks for help
The motivation to continuously study food biotechnology was firmed into a determination when I was selected to fulfill a project about using enzyme in the stage of coffee processing whose result make me recognized that the was enormous potentially in applying biotechnology in post-harvest.
Through my constant interaction with famers, I realized that there existed a lot of drawbacks in their harvesting and processing technology, such as: primitive technology in preservation, backward situation of processing technology. Therefore Vietnamese famers often surfer serious losses in yield. I grew to believe deeper researches on applying advanced technology of biotechnology in harvest and processing for example: enzyme technology, genetic technology, microorganism technology, advanced preservation technology ...will resolve this problems. Therefore I am eager to study more about food science and biotechnology.
I am very excited when understand that biotechnology applied for agriculture which being current weakness of Vietnam is the strengthen of Australia. I hope I am able to learn the advanced technology being used for agriculture in Australia to apply it effectively in my agriculture research, which plays a very important role for the Central Highlands region of Vietnam. Since biotechnology has general principle, I am able to use my skills across harvest and postharvest coffee, cacao, pepper, avocado which are a priority and important commodity. The application of biotechnology in food to create a balance of agricultural product between areas and typical products also is a potential trend of food field and essential for sustainable development of agricultural in the future of Vietnam.
In addition, I have a chance to learn other soft skills such as modern food analysis methods, project management, strategy building...
Furthermore, I am able to develop my professional networks in the field in Australia which will allow me to bring to my institute more opportunities to exchange knowledge, experience, and research methodology and thus better research outcomes.
The motivation to continuously study food biotechnology was firmed into a determination when I was selected to fulfill a project about using enzyme in the stage of coffee processing whose result make me recognized that the was enormous potentially in applying biotechnology in post-harvest.
The latter part of the sentence is unclear to me. And I think it is way too long for a first sentence of an essay.
Therefore Vietnamese famers often surfer serious losses in yield.
Therefore Vietnamese farmers often suffer huge losses in yieldI am very excited when understand that biotechnology applied for agriculture which being current weakness of Vietnam is the strengthen of Australia.
I was very excited when I understood that bio technology was the key to Australia's agricultural success.You need to shorten your sentences and work on your grammar.
