GOod essay, but make sure you address:
WHY medicine? your response to this is a little vague, a bit generic, and could use a little more passion and empathy. you want colleges to see your burning desire for becoming a doctor, right? right now, your essay sounds a little hollow but polite to me. use stronger language to express how much you want this!
also try to link it back to you and yourself, your history, etc, more. a little more personal, maybe?
hope this helps! :)