I am so happy to join the forum. and i want to say thanks for member (samaneh) i use his essay to create mine.
I intend to get master degree scholarship. My statement of purpose is attached below. please kindly let me know all types of comments.. I shall be very greateful to you.
required Statement-of-Purpose (Preferably, a one page essay focusing on your career and research goals)
Throughout my life, I have learned that the ultimate happiness is obtained not only by hard work and intelligence, but also by unlimited bravery in pursuing my own dreams. I enjoy teaching and volunteered for several years as a Math and Science teacher in my hometown. I was also a part of nongovernmental organization volunteer project which provides free clothing to the poor section of society and also used to give tuition in the University for my Batch & other behind batches. It is my overwhelming desire for learning, invention, and teaching that lead me to continue my education towards a Master degree in advanced chemical engineering. Specifically, I hope to contribute positively to future improvements to society through technological innovation. The unique environment and resources at King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals is what I believe that help me to become a successful pioneer facing stiff global competition.
Having undergone a fruitful and productive curriculum during my undergraduate studies at University of Gezira, I have established a solid foundation in the fundamentals of Chemical Engineering. I have undertaken various courses which have introduced me to various theoretical concepts and methods which are widely used in chemical industry.
During this period I got an opportunity to visit various chemical industries. My visit to the plant control division of oil refinery kindled my interest in the usage of computers in chemical industries which led me to explore more applications of computers in chemical engineering. Consequently, as my final year project, I took up "Simulation of Crude Distillation Unit using HYSYS". This being my first foray into research work, it has been huge learning experience for me.
Inspiration and enthusiasm well up in me at work. I have gained professional experience by working two years as a field engineer at China National Logging Corporation(CNLC) Sudan branch, plus three months summer internship in Khartoum refining company(KRC), During this period I become completely familiar with oil industry from exploration to obtain products by participating in industrial training classes and providing technical proposals for some processes such as separation process. In addition, here I have learned how to work under time constraints, how to visualize abstract concepts, and apply concepts to industrial projects in real time. Having real work experiences, now I have a balanced view of my interests, potential contributions and priorities, which enables me to make a decision between pursuing a career in the industry or one in academia. I find the academic environment more appealing because of the high level of intellectual challenge and creativity associated with it as well as the opportunity it provides to follow my research interests in the field of chemical engineering.
Masters in advanced chemical engineering will equip me with the required technical skills; enhance my research, analytical and data collection ability while facilitating the goal for a change of career. The control of polymers materials and their entry into all areas of life such as industrial and food packaging, household products, pharmaceuticals, personal care, textiles, agriculture and others, result in a quantum leap in our present time. Hence, my aspiration to complete a master degree in chemical engineering with Polymer computer simulation & processing is my field of concentration. My future plans after finishing this program is to gain a good experience in the petrochemical industry in one of the leading companies. I have intent to be a part of petrochemical industry revolution in my country. Apart from Polymer processes, my other areas of interest in field of Chemical Engineering include thermodynamics, corrosion science, reaction engineering and process dynamics and control. Part of my ambition is gaining a PhD.
I plan to continue my education to Master level in an internationally reputable and high-ranking research university. In order to find the appropriate graduate program which can fulfill my educational goals and best match my research interests, I have perused different sources, and I have found Master program at King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals and Dr. Ibnelwaleed Hussein & Dr. Basel Abu-Sharkh research group well suited to my interests. Chemical Engineering at the forefront of technology and its role in modern society becoming increasingly important, and Dr. Ibnelwaleed specialized in polymers. In addition, KFUPM is a comprehensive research university, committed towards meeting the dynamic needs of the astoundingly growing industry and ranked as the number one institute in Saudi Arabia. I have full confidence that my diligence, dedication, and genuine interest in learning coupled with the exceptional guidance I can receive in KFUPM will allow me to contribute to my fields of interest and get me a step closer to realizing my ultimate goal. I would greatly enjoy and appreciate the opportunity to do so at your institution.
Hello Muzamil
Your writing is good. You just have a few minor mistakes. But some of the content needs some working. Let us take the paragraphs one by one.
Paragraph 1
The first sentence is vague. That means it doesn't highlight your qualities. You can say you're hard-working/ brave, but how do we know that? The readers who have never seen you cannot just assume that you have those particular qualities.
Therefore, talk about specific stuff. Stuff that can be associated with you easily. The best way to do that is by taking the help of examples. Consider the following example
I want to say that I am altruistic. I can say that in two ways.
1) I am always moved by the suffering of poor
2) I volunteered in an NGO which provides free clothing to the poor section of society.
Which one do you think is better?
Paragraph 2
You could have explained a bit more about your undergraduate degree. Did you do some project/research as part of your coursework?
Paragraph 4
You should include more specifics about the university you are applying to. Does the MSc course they have include the modules on the topics you have given as your interests? Is there anyone from the faculty working on those fields?
first of all many thanks ershad hussain to answer..
Great points here and i will work in it in Paragraph 1 & 4 but i want to ask for an explanation about
about paragraph(2) Do I need to include my undergraduate degree here or should I stick to the prompt (Preferably, a one page essay focusing on your career and research goals)
another thing (Therefore, talk about specific stuff. Stuff that can be associated with you easily) included in same introdution or in new paragraph??
thanks alot
Do I need to include my undergraduate degree here or should I stick to the prompt (Preferably, a one page essay focusing on your career and research goals)
In my opinion, your undergraduate degree falls under career in a broad sense. That's why I think it should be included. I say this because some people may not have any work experience, and they may still be applying to that particular university. In their case, they will talk about their undergrad degree as their career.
included in same introdution or in new paragraph??
You can write that in the same paragraph.
Thank you Ershad, and sorry for late reply but my language is poor.
I have corrected to my best and I added what you have suggested. I highlights some sentences as un important & other as i doubt about it structure, and need your opinion about it...
Pleas feel free to edit as you think best, change what you wish and remove any parts that needs removed "particularly introduction" i feel it week. I want one page around 530 words. I appreciate your help.
note: deadline is 29 Oct
I did separate C.V include details of courses i undertaken & chemical industry visits.
Thanks for your time.
I was also a part of nongovernmental organization volunteer project which provides free clothing to the poor section of society and also used to give tuition in the University for my Batch & other behind batches .
Specifically, I hope to contribute positively to future improvements to society through technological innovation. The unique environment and resources at King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals is what I believe that help me to become a successful pioneer facing stiff global competition .
My visit to the plant control division of oil refinery kindled my interest in the usage of computers in chemical industries which led me to explore more applications of computers in chemical engineering .
I have gained professional experience by working two years as a field engineer at China National Logging Corporation(CNLC) Sudan branch, plus three months summer internship in Khartoum refining company(KRC), During this period I become completely familiar with oil industry from exploration to obtain products by participating in industrial training classes and providing technical proposals for some processes such as separation process . In addition, here I have learned how to work under time constraints,how to visualize abstract concepts, and apply concepts to industrial projects in real time .
Masters in advanced chemical engineering will equip me with the required technical skills; enhance my research, analytical and data collection ability while facilitating the goal for a change of career.
I have intent to be a part of petrochemical industry revolution in my country .
Chemical Engineering at the forefront of technology and its role in modern society becoming increasingly important, and Dr. Ibnelwaleed specialized in polymers .
... I can receive in KFUPM will allow me to contribute to my fields of interest and get me a step closer to realizing my ultimate goal .
Specifically, I hope to contribute positively to future improvements to society through technological innovation. The unique environment and resources at King Fahd University of Petroleum and Minerals is what I believe that help me to become a successful pioneer facing stiff global competition.
I think it is not very specific to say you want to "contribute positively... through technological innovation." That is vague, not specific. And I think the sentence that follows it could be more specific, too, because it is supposed to leave a distinct impression on the reader's mind. However this is very impressive overall. This small criticism is not so important. I wish I had been able to help in time for your deadline, but I think you do not need my help; this essay is written in a way that reflects the complexity of your thinking. I think it's going to be a success!
